In the Midst of Uncertainty
by sosmitten
Summary: "Part of her wished that when it had come time to say goodbye, she had just taken his hand, turned around and driven them both home. Season 5 Post Finale.
1. Departure

**Disclaimer: **I love the characters, but sadly, they are not mine. 

**Author's Note:** This story began over two months ago as a challenge from **iheartbridges**, and though I was initially skeptical, the idea took hold of me in a big way. I can't thank my amazing betas, **JeSouhaite** and **CineFille**, enough for their encouragement and for pushing me to make this story more than it was.

* * *

Lorelai's chin rested heavily on her hand and she bit her lip nervously while staring out the window of the plane. She tried to ignore the bustle of passengers boarding and carry-ons being stowed, and to distract herself from the hint of nausea building in her stomach. That she recognized the uneasiness as fear, she hated to admit, even to herself. She really hadn't done much traveling, except for the occasional extravagant trip with her parents as a child and the backpacking trip around Europe with Rory, so traveling alone like this was completely uncharted territory. 

But even though it was terrifying, it was also exciting. Really it was. She couldn't pass up an opportunity to visit another country, all-expenses paid. All she had to do was share her ideas about running an inn. Simple enough, right?

To Lorelai's surprise, Luke had encouraged her with a sincere tone that simultaneously confused and heartened her. "You ought to at least try it. You don't want to regret passing up the opportunity."

So she'd called Mike Armstrong and agreed to the trial consulting job. Minutes after getting the call about the specifics of her assignment, she burst into the diner.

Luke looked up as the bell rang above the door, "Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Well, it's nice to see you too." Lorelai said, feigning a pout.

In response, he raised his eyebrows and tipped his head to the side, "You're just not usually here, now. What's up?

"He called."

"Who called?"

"Mike Armstrong. He called to tell me where they want to send me." She started pacing, her words flowing in an unstoppable stream. "And see, they told me they wanted to send me to Europe and I was thinking France, Spain, maybe Italy. That's Europe. That's what I expected. This, this-"

"Lorelai, stop," Luke stilled her motion with a touch to her shoulder. "Where are you going?"

"Scotland. Can you imagine? Scotland. What the hell is that? He said Europe."

"Uh," Luke hesitated, "Scotland is in Europe."

"I know. I just…" Lorelai threw her hands up, "I figured they'd send me someplace I'd actually been. I don't know anything about Scotland."

"I've heard it's really pretty," Luke added helpfully. "And they speak English, by the way."

Lorelai caught his eyes with an annoyed look.

His expression softened and he took her hands, holding her fingers lightly, "You're still going to go, though, right?"

"Yeah, I'm going," she sighed, before lifting her head to meet his eyes. "As long as you come visit me. You said you'd come, right? There's no way I'm going through another Luke-less summer."

Lorelai looked down from the window to her lap where she absently twisted the ring on her left hand, the sharp edges of the setting like an anchor to the familiar. So much had happened in the last several weeks that she had trouble processing it all. Her recent memories had a fuzzy quality, as if her brain couldn't quite make sense of Luke's acceptance of her out-of-the-blue proposal and Rory's criminal record. Lorelai shook the latter thought out of her head and instead remembered the wide-eyed disbelief on Luke's face and the soft surprise in his voice when she had interrupted his Rory rant with her question. After she'd convinced him of her sincerity, he confessed that he'd had similar thoughts and sheepishly told her about the Twickham house. His shy smile drooped into a sad frown when he admitted giving up the house after hearing about the Durham Groups' offer to buy the inn. Lorelai urged his eyes back to hers with a brush of her fingers across his cheek and explained that she couldn't imagine leaving her house anyway, especially the way things stood with Rory. Slipping her hands down to grasp his, she told him that she had no intention of selling the inn or leaving Stars Hollow to take a consulting job. At the mention of the consulting job a flash of doubt crossed Luke's face, but was so fleeting she almost forgot it.

As her insides roiled with a mixture of relief and jittery excitement, Luke led her upstairs to his apartment, where he presented her with the engagement ring he'd planned to give her when he showed her the deed to the Twickham house. With a slight tremble in his hands, he slid it onto her finger and said softly, "In case it wasn't clear downstairs, I definitely want to marry you." Lorelai let herself shed a few tears of happiness and even Luke looked a little misty-eyed. It was almost enough to push the worries about Rory from Lorelai's mind.

The reality of the situation settled more solidly on her shoulders the next morning as Luke and Lorelai discussed the best way to share their news with Rory. Though they agreed that Rory should be the first to know, Lorelai had never felt more distant from her daughter and was at a loss as to the best way to approach her. Finally, she called Rory and asked if they could meet, either in Hartford or Stars Hollow, reluctantly agreeing that there would be no discussion of Yale, the boat, or the poolhouse.

A very stilted dinner at Luke's followed. Mother and daughter limited their conversation to news from the inn and Stars Hollow, and the pauses between topics stretched uncomfortably long. Finally, Lorelai twisted her ring around on her finger, exposing the concealed diamond, and shared the news about the engagement. She spoke cautiously, unsure of Rory's reaction. After an initial look of shock, Rory gave the first genuine smile of the evening before hugging her mom and seeking out Luke to congratulate him. Lorelai deftly avoided giving the play by play of the proposal so as to avoid discussing the conversation that had led to it. It was enough to see Rory accepting the situation. Before Rory left to head back to Hartford, they agreed to have dinner twice a week at Luke's with the unspoken understanding that the same rules would apply to future dinners.

A few days later, Lorelai bounced into the diner eagerly looking for Luke. She had just gotten off the phone with Mike Armstrong and couldn't wait to tell Luke about turning down the offer to buy the inn and take the consulting job. Though she'd initially been flattered and curious about consulting for the Durham Group, the discussion the night of the proposal made it clear why Luke had been so upset about her 'mulling,' and she wanted to reassure him, to let him know that she had no intention of leaving him or Stars Hollow. Expecting the typical understated smiles that Luke occasionally allowed, she was surprised by the furrow in his brow and the rather grim, if brief, look on his face. He told her that he didn't want her missing out on opportunities, that if she was at all interested in consulting, she should at least give it a trial run. Lorelai was so baffled by his suggestion that she had trouble coming up with counter-arguments and, after a few minutes of discussion, found herself agreeing that the possibility of travel did sound intriguing.

The remaining few weeks before her trip passed in a blur of activity. Michel would act as the Executive Manager of the inn while she was gone, but she'd had to hire and train a temporary person to take his position.

Rory's scheduled trial never happened. Lorelai relented and let her parents and the Huntzbergers hire a lawyer who managed to get the District Attorney to reduce the charges from a felony to a misdemeanor in exchange for a significant amount of community service. Though still furious with her parents and more upset with Rory than she wanted to admit, Lorelai was glad to have Rory's legal troubles settled before leaving the country. The uneasy truce between mother and daughter continued, as did the regular dinners at Luke's.

Lorelai even gave in to Rory's request and visited her parents once, to tell them that she was engaged and about her plans for the summer. They reacted to the engagement with indifference, though her father seemed impressed by the consulting trial run. It was little more than she'd expected and if nothing else she felt relieved to have told them.

Only an hour had passed since she'd said goodbye to Luke and already she missed him. Lorelai knew that his encouragement to try consulting was his way of making sure that she had looked into all of her options, but she couldn't help feeling that it was a way to put off plans for the wedding as well. Every time she had mentioned their upcoming wedding, Luke had brushed it off, saying that they could discuss it when she returned. His stoicism, though typically Luke, unsettled her, made her wonder why he was so willing to send her away for two months. Part of her wished that when it had come time to say goodbye, she had just taken his hand, turned around and driven them both home.

She put on a brave face, but Luke saw through her cheerfulness, tipping her chin up with his fingers so that she would meet his eyes, "Hey, what's going on?"

Her shoulders slumped and she looked away for a moment before lifting her eyes to his again. "Nothing. I just…Luke, what the hell am I doing? I don't know anything about consulting."

"You're going to help people run an inn - something you do very well, by the way."

She had to smile at his unfailing encouragement, but then said sadly, "I'm going to miss you _so_ much. Three and a half weeks, right? You promise you'll come?"

Luke's gaze softened, and the corners of his mouth curved up into a small smile. "I told you I'd come. You made my plane reservation. I found my passport. I'll be there." He brushed his thumb across her cheek, as if to reinforce his words. "Don't fall for any burly Scottish guys before I get there."

She knew that he was trying to lighten the moment, and any other time she could have brushed it off, but hearing him now stung. "Luke, I'm going to _marry_ you. There isn't anyone else for me." The hurt in her voice was clear.

"I'm sorry, I was just..."

"I know. I'm sorry too. I'm a little…" She took a breath and gave a small wave, brushing the thought away. "I'm almost to the security gate, I guess we should say goodbye," her voice shook a bit as she stepped toward Luke for a kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning into his body. "I love you," she murmured against his lips.

Luke pulled back to look her in the eye. "I love you, too. I'll see you soon. Have a great flight." He gave her one last kiss before lowering his hands to give hers a squeeze.

"I'll miss you."

"Me too."

"And just so you know - when I get back, we're going into full-out planning mode. You're not getting out of that, buddy."

"I'll have a calendar and the bridal magazines ready," he teased.

As the plane pulled away from the gate, Lorelai pulled out her Lonely Planet guide, and thumbed through it absently. She'd been serious when she said she knew nothing about Scotland. The movie Braveheart, and that was about it – and she was pretty sure that by now even the Scots had say, electricity and running water.

All she knew about her assignment was that she would be working in the town of Stirling at an inn that was a short walk from Stirling Castle, apparently a big tourist draw. The Durham Group had acquired the inn a few years earlier, and one of Lorelai's major tasks would be to make long-term recommendations about how to improve the inn's mediocre occupancy rate. She still couldn't believe that a huge corporation trusted her judgment enough to send her across an ocean to a little tourist town in Scotland. Terrifying? Yes. But it was worth a shot.

_To be continued_


	2. Castles and Pub Food

**Disclaimer: **Again, not mine. 

**Author's Note:** Thanks again to my fabulous betas, **JeSouhaite** and **CineFille**. Also, since someone asked, the challenge I was given (by **iheartbridges** after she read _A Faire Weekend_) was to write a story where Lorelai went overseas to consult and Luke came to visit her.

* * *

They had settled into a comfortable routine with their phone calls. Lorelai called Luke from Scotland before she went to bed, which was, most of the time, before the dinner rush began. In the first week many of their conversations focused on relieving her loneliness and insecurity. _"I mean Luke, what the hell am I doing here? They didn't send me all this way to show these people how to fold towels. I don't know what I'm supposed to be teaching them."_ He felt like a broken record reassuring her and telling her that he couldn't wait to see her. And though he kicked himself for not wishing her complete happiness away from him, he loved hearing her say that she missed him and needed him.

This time, it was getting close to dinner rush and people were trickling in when his cell phone finally rang. Luke waved at Caesar and gestured at his phone as he headed for the storeroom. "Hey," he answered with a smile, wondering if she knew how much he looked forward to her calls.

"Hey back. Finally. I'm sorry it's later than usual, I've been wanting to call you all day, but we've been crazy busy." He had gotten used to a more sober Lorelai since she'd left, but now he could tell something was different. She bubbled with enthusiasm as her words danced through the telephone wire.

"You know you can call me anytime. So tell me about your day."

"It's actually been great, even though it's busy. The guests who checked out raved about the food and the hospitality. Mike Armstrong called and said that he'd heard I was doing a great job, and the staff doesn't seem to be afraid of me anymore. I couldn't wait to call you, because I realized that every time I've talked to you I've been complaining and I'm sorry about that." She paused to take a breath, and Luke spoke up.

"You don't need to apologize. That's what I'm here for."

"That's sweet, but I'm not gonna complain today. I wanted to tell you something good. I mean, here I am living a few blocks away from a castle. A castle, Luke. A real castle. And I have this opportunity in front of me and I've been complaining and you shouldn't have to listen to that. So I thought maybe we could start planning all the things that we're going to do when you get here."

Luke listened to her babble on about the sights in Stirling and surrounding areas. He could hear the excitement in her voice and it both relieved and worried him at the same time. The rambling descriptions were amusing and so full of life that he had to smile, even as he worried that she seemed to no longer need his support and encouragement.

His reverie was cut short when she asked him a question. "What do you think about going away for a few days to the Isle of Skye? It's a popular vacation spot – not just for tourists - and the drive out there is supposed to be really beautiful."

"That sounds great, if you can get away," Luke answered hesitantly.

"I think I can swing it. I'm really starting to like it here. Oh and did I tell you about the breakfasts? The breakfasts here are amazing."

Wow, amazing breakfasts too?

As Luke hung up the phone, he felt a sense of dread settle over him, and though he fought it, he couldn't help hearing Dean's words ringing in his ears. _This town, it's all you are, and it's not enough. She's going to get bored, and you can't take her anywhere. You're here forever._ He knew it was ridiculous to take anything that punk said seriously, but it was hard not to see some truth in the words. It was for that reason, after all, that he had encouraged Lorelai to try the consulting job.

Her proposal had taken him completely by surprise. In a matter of minutes, she went from total despair to whatever it was that had prompted her to ask him to marry her. That was the crux of the issue: he had no idea what made Lorelai ask him in that moment. Though he had happily accepted, and given her the ring he'd been planning to present her with during his own proposal, the question continued to nag at him. Was she feeling lost and out of touch with Rory and therefore holding on to him for safety, or did she really want to spend her life with him?

The question poked at him gently, like a paper cut, for a few days, before turning into a full-fledged infection. They'd had a few blissful days following the proposal. The sparkle returned to Lorelai's eyes and though the situation with Rory weighed her down, he felt as though he could share the burden. On the tail-end of Monday's lunch rush, Lorelai came into the diner literally bursting with news. Her eyes danced and she worked to keep her small smile from becoming a grin, though the hum of nervous energy gave her away.

"What's up with you?" he asked, eyeing her curiously as she took a seat at the counter, folded her arms in front of her and looked up to meet his eyes.

"I just did something and I wanted to come over here and tell you in person, because I thought it would make you happy." The grin had finally forced its way through her attempt to remain subdued.

He eyed her suspiciously. "What did you do?"

"I called Mike Armstrong and told him that I wasn't interested in selling in the inn or consulting. I'm not going anywhere. I'm all yours, baby." She sat there, waiting expectantly for his reaction, looking altogether pleased with herself.

Luke felt a knot of worry in his stomach listening to Lorelai's words. Clearly she was doing this for him, because of his concerns about her taking a job and leaving Stars Hollow, but he couldn't help fearing that she would regret it, that in a few years she would resent him for being the reason she hadn't pushed herself professionally. "Wow. That's big. Are you sure?" He tried to keep his voice light, to hide the turmoil her announcement had instigated.

"Of course I'm sure. I don't want to go anywhere."

She sat there, right in front of him, telling him all she was willing to give up to stay here, and he wished so fervently that he could believe her. "Not even to try it? I thought you liked the idea of traveling."

"Well, it did sound…," she hesitated, her brow wrinkled with confusion. "But, you were the one who didn't want me to. I don't get this. I thought you'd be happy."

"I just want to make sure that you aren't missing out on an amazing opportunity, that you aren't making a quick decision because we got engaged." He chose his words carefully.

"What's wrong with deciding that I want to be here with you?" She gave him a puzzled look.

"What if you wish later that you'd tried it? Didn't you say they'd let you do a trial run of consulting?"

"Well, yeah…" her voice was hesitant. "But Luke, I'm happy here."

"I know," he said, softening a bit. "But I just don't want you to regret not doing it. I'd hate to think that you passed it up because of me, because of us."

"Does that mean you really want me to do this?" asked Lorelai, surprise and uncertainty written all over her face. "After what you said before?"

"I don't want you to miss the chance to do it – if you want to. Do you want to?"

She looked at him, as if evaluating his words, then took a breath and said slowly, "It did sound intriguing…"

The knot in his gut squeezed tighter, even as he said softly but firmly, "Then you should try it." He knew that he sounded far more encouraging than he felt.

A few weeks later, it took all his strength to put her on that plane, to stand there and say goodbye, but he needed to let her do this. He needed to know that he was enough for her - that knowing all of her options, she would choose him. Because when he stood up with her in front of 'God and these witnesses,' he wanted both of them to know that they were in it forever.

* * *

Luke pulled up to The Stirling Inn and found it just as Lorelai had described: stately, dignified, and old. There was a small parking lot to the side of the three story stone building. After pulling into a parking spot and turning off the engine, he leaned back in his seat, rubbed his hands across his face and breathed a sigh of relief. The drive from the Edinburgh had been simple, direction-wise, but driving on the left side of the road took more effort than expected. He'd insisted Lorelai didn't need to pick him up, and though she protested, she finally agreed after reluctantly admitting that she'd managed to avoid doing much driving herself.

He entered the crowded lobby of the inn, standing behind a group of people waiting to be seated in the dining room and a few others checking in or out. He saw Lorelai expertly pointing people in the appropriate direction and answering their questions with friendly efficiency. Staying in the background, he was glad to have a moment to quietly observe her. The way that she handled people had always impressed him, but now he saw the confident set of her shoulders and heard the assertive, but friendly, tone in her voice. "We have a reservation for you beginning tomorrow night," Lorelai said to a thin blond woman who held tightly to two young girls. "Is it possible-"

"Oh, but our plans changed, and I called to change the reservation. I know I called…" The woman hesitated, and her voice grew brittle and agitated as realization flashed across her face. "Oh no, I didn't call. I didn't call. What are we going to do? Where are we going to stay? We chose this inn because you had family rooms, but if those aren't available, I don't know…and my husband is already bringing in the bags."

"Well, let's see what we can do for you," Lorelai said, checking the reservation book, "We do have a good-sized room available." She paused for a moment, her expression thoughtful. "I could have a spare mattress set up on the floor-"

"The floor? I don't wanna sleep on the floor!" whined the older of the two girls.

"Oh, Miranda," the woman scolded, embarrassment flooding her face.

Before she had a chance to go on, Lorelai leaned down to the two girls and said conspiratorially, "What if I gave you some extra blankets so you could make a tent? My daughter used to love to do that when she was your age."

"Really?" asked the younger sister. "That sounds great. Come on, Miranda. Let's do it."

The older girl relented and her mother shot Lorelai a grateful look.

"Well, why don't you have a seat in the dining room, and I'll have some tea brought to you while we fix up your room." Lorelai added, gesturing to her right. The trio whispered their thanks and headed toward the dining room.

Lorelai watched them walk away, then sighed and gave a small shake of her head, before glancing toward the front door and spotting Luke. He couldn't help but be pleased to see her entire face light up, eyes wide and smile huge. She rushed across the room, wrapping her arms around him in a fierce hug before lifting her hands to his face. "It's _so_ good to see you." She reached her fingers around his neck to pull his lips to hers.

He hesitated ever so slightly, glancing quickly around the room. "Uh…Lorelai?"

She followed his gaze to the bellman, who was averting his eyes, and grinned at Luke's shyness. "Oh for God's sake. Fine. Come here."

"Where are we going? Luke asked as she grabbed his hand.

She pulled him to the right through the sitting room and then into a smaller room lined completely with bookshelves and furnished with deep armchairs. "No one ever comes in here. So, where were we?" She leaned in again and kissed him, her lips parting and her fingers running through his hair. He wrapped his arms around her waist, one hand on the small of her back, the other running up her spine to rest at the base of her neck, tangled in her sweet-scented curls. For long moments, tongues mingled and fingertips caressed. Eventually, Lorelai pulled back and flashed him a content smile, "Welcome to – wait a minute. You brought it, right?"

The sudden concern on her face confused him. "What?"

"Your hat. You're not wearing it."

"Not on the flight."

"Oh, you must be one of those people that thinks you need to look nice when you fly," she teased. "Is that why you're wearing this shirt instead of a flannel?"

He shrugged. "I've never flown overseas before."

"But you brought them, right?" she insisted.

He had to chuckle at the look on her face, "I have plenty of flannel – and my hat."

"Good," she sighed, her breath warm against his lips as her arms tightened around his neck. "So, as I was saying," she mumbled between soft kisses, "welcome to Scotland."

* * *

Lorelai got Luke's things settled in her room, found his hat in his carry-on, then took him by the hand and introduced him to the inn's staff. He protested a bit at first, but then secretly thrilled at the pride in her voice as she paraded him around to meet everyone. Though he was still getting used to hearing it, the way the word fiancé rolled off her tongue made him just a tiny bit dizzy.

After a quick lunch, they headed out to see Stirling Castle, which Lorelai insisted was an imperative first stop. "We'll get just enough of a history lesson to understand the significance of all the other local sights."

On their way up the hill, in an attempt to find out more about Lorelai's work at the inn, Luke offered, "Everyone at the inn seems really nice,"

"They are. Everyone here has been amazing. They're so friendly and helpful."

"But not just that - they really look up to you. I mean, how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"You find a way to fit in everywhere. Like here. You've been here a few weeks and it's like you belong here."

Lorelai reacted almost imperceptibly, a flash of worry crossing her face that was gone before it started. She angled her head toward him, pausing as if to say something, then shrugged. "I don't know."

Luke puzzled over her expression, but then brushed it off, thinking he must have imagined it. "It seems like it's going well, though."

She sighed softly, then continued, the confidence in her voice returning as she described her work. "Yeah, I guess so. I've been working on helping them clarify their job descriptions and spell out their training program. They have a lot of turnover, especially in the summer, and there isn't really an organized way of training new employees. It's also not always clear what someone's job is. And I've been helping them with some more efficient ways of doing things. You know, like reservations, billing and stuff."

"Wow, that's a lot for just a few weeks."

"Maybe. They want me to work on improving the occupancy rate – at least that's the long-term goal for the inn. By the time I leave, I'm supposed to come up with recommendations for increasing the occupancy rate, but I don't really have any specific ideas for that yet, so I started by focusing on the organizational things that I knew how to help with." Luke couldn't help being impressed by the work Lorelai was describing, but was unable to reconcile that with the note of insecurity he heard in her words.

"Well, anything that helps the inn run better will make it better for the guests."

"I know that. I do, but I do need to start focusing on the thing they sent me here to work on."

"Hey," he said, reaching to give her shoulder a supportive squeeze. "You'll figure it out."

"You keep saying that, but what if I'm just not good at this?" She raised her hands, as if to gesture around the town.

"It's running an inn. Of course you're good at it." He struggled to keep from sounding incredulous.

"When did you become such a cheerleader?" she asked, the lightness of her tone not fully masking her annoyance.

"I just believe in you, that's all." His reply was apologetic, though he wasn't sure why he was apologizing.

Her expression softened and she responded with a small smile, "I know you do. I've never figured out exactly what I did to deserve it. But…" she waved away the thought, "I don't want to talk about the inn right now, or anything... I just want to hang out with you and show you the castle. Okay?"

"Of course, whatever you want." He pulled her in closer, giving her shoulder another little squeeze, finding that he didn't mind at all that her response was to wrap her arms around his waist, rest her head on his shoulder and just hold tightly to him for several long moments.

* * *

"So what do you think of my castle?"

"Your castle?"

"Yes, well I asked you to join me on the royal chairs, but you refused, so I'll have to rule the country myself."

"I was not about to fight with a six-year-old over who gets to sit in the King's chair," Luke said firmly, with pretended frustration. "Besides, I took your picture, didn't I?"

"Yes you did. Proof of my brief reign." Lorelai looked back, grinning, then pointed, "Hey, there's some great views over there. We can look around and plan our sightseeing."

Whatever you say, " he said, letting her drag him across the plaza to a back garden with spectacular views of the surrounding countryside. Her excitement pulled them back into their typical roles, she teasing and playful, and he skeptical and mocking, at least outwardly. Inside, Luke secretly delighted in watching Lorelai return to her animated self. Everything that had happened with Rory, as well as the challenge of consulting, had taken a toll on her confidence, so he gladly listened to her long-winded descriptions and indulged her games.

"So, over there somewhere is Doune Castle. I've been dying to go there, cause that where they shot some of Monty Python's Holy Grail. Somewhere over there is a town with a really historic cathedral. That's the William Wallace monument. There's supposed to be really good views from there too, though I'm not too sure what I think about climbing it."

"Am I supposed to know who William Wallace is?" he asked, trying to remember if he had ever heard the name.

"He's Mel Gibson in Braveheart."

He raised his eyebrows in amusement. "Ahh. Of course. There had to be a movie involved. So, what'd Mel Gibson do?"

"He was a big Scottish hero. United the Scots against the British, you know, until they caught him, hung him, beheaded him, and disemboweled him. I'm not sure in what order either. But when I get home we can watch the movie and maybe we'll find out. Between that and the Holy Grail we can have our own little Scottish movie marathon."

"I'm looking forward to it," he said sarcastically.

Their roundabout tour ended in a recreation of a 16th century kitchen. "This is making me hungry. I think that it's time for you to experience Scottish pub food."

"Watching mannequins pretend to cook food, most of which is bloody, by the way, in completely unsanitary conditions, is making you hungry?" he asked in disbelief.

"You should know me better than that by now. Besides, I've been wanting to take you to the local pub. Do you know what the best thing is about pub food? It's all about the pie – shepherd's pie, steak and ale pie, chicken pot pie. There's even a fisherman's pie, just for you." She grinned as he rolled his eyes. "Of course, if you're not in the mood for pie, there's always bangers and mash."

"Bangers and mash? That just sounds…"

"Dirty?" she asked wickedly.

"Well, yeah."

"Good. A perfect start to our evening."

* * *

The pub food was indeed good, but between the two beers and jet lag, Luke was starting to feel exhausted, or at the very least, ready for bed. Lorelai had chosen a quiet booth in the corner, joking that it would make it easier to play footsies under the table. In spite of his embarrassment at her mentioning this in front of the hostess, he didn't mind at all when she held his hand throughout much of dinner or absently traced circles with her thumb as her hand rested on his leg. On the walk home he couldn't keep from reaching for her waist, running his thumb back and forth across the small of her back, wanting to continue that physical connection.

When they returned to the room, Luke crossed to the bed where his small suitcase lay, opening it to pull out a few things he'd need before moving it out of the way. Lorelai walked up behind him, leaned on his shoulder and asked, "That's it? How is it possible for you to travel for a week with one bag?

"Do I really need to answer that?"

"Well, no. Your wardrobe doesn't really call for much variation, although," she said, pulling out a few non-flannel shirts and a pair of slacks, "what are these, my friend?"

"Just in case, you know…I thought I could take you to a decent restaurant."

"Awww, you're sweet. And look! You remembered to bring the Monty Python DVD. I've been wanting to watch this ever since I heard about Doune Castle. " She picked up the case and scanned it eagerly, "You know they filmed a bunch of the scenes there. I'm going to take you to-"

Her ramble stopped abruptly as Luke took the DVD gently from her hand, placing it on the suitcase he had already moved from the bed, before turning back and kissing her. "I know, you told me earlier."

"But Luke, I was looking at that," she protested half-heartedly as his lips found her earlobe, jawline, throat and collarbone.

"Hmmm. Should I worry that you're more interested in a movie than…?" he mumbled against her skin.

"Typical guy, always with sex on the mind," she teased.

"You've never seemed to mind before."

She chuckled, but in spite of her mild protests she responded with the same intense ferocity she'd greeted him with earlier, as if she could make up for nearly a month apart by the sheer number of times her lips met his skin.

In the moments afterward, as she lay curled against his side, her still ragged breath warm on his neck, he could feel the tightness in his chest easing. Acting more out of instinct than intention, he wrapped both arms around her, hugged her to him tightly and planted a kiss on the top of her head.

He felt the light brush of breath on his chest as she let out a contented sigh. After a long moment of almost utter stillness, she lifted her head and said softly, "Hey Luke?"

"Yeah?" he asked lazily, opening his eyes to find her looking at him almost solemnly.

"I missed you."

And in spite of how hard he'd been working to be strong, to let her find her way without him pulling her home, her words melted something inside him and the words were out before he could stop them, sounding deep and raw and true, "I missed you too. A lot."

_To be continued_


	3. The Maiden and the Merchant

**Disclaimer: **Again, not mine. 

**Author's Note:** Thanks for all the kind words about this story. I really appreciate the feedback. Huge, huge thanks as well to the stupendous betas, **JeSouhaite** and **CineFille**.

* * *

Lorelai pulled herself out of bed reluctantly the next morning, wishing she could remain in the curve of Luke's arm all day. In the few weeks they'd been apart, she had forgotten how much she relied on the soft rhythm of his breaths to lull herself to sleep, how comforting it felt to hear his gentle snores when she woke in the night.

She showered and dressed, then leaned across the bed to place a kiss on his forehead, smiling at the reversal in their typical roles. He stirred and she brushed her fingers across his cheek, "Hey, go back to sleep. I'm going downstairs to catch up on some reports and e-mail. Come on down when you're ready for breakfast." Luke mumbled an unintelligible response and reached a clumsy arm around her waist. In response, she brushed her lips against his before sliding out from underneath his arm.

Downstairs, early risers ate their breakfasts and the daily routines of the inn were underway. The Stirling Inn was a beautiful building, artfully constructed of stone and furnished inside with elegant antiques. The tables in the dining room were set with fine china and the staff performed their duties admirably. It was times like these that made her wonder what she was doing here. This inn ran smoothly and there was little she had done to improve upon that. Yet, as much as she admired the history and attention to detail in this inn, it still felt as though something was missing, something that made her homesick for the Dragonfly. She missed the comfort of her country inn, the way that it rejuvenated her. In these quiet moments of observing the routine around her she wondered if maybe she had just gotten lucky with the Dragonfly, that whatever drew her to its warmth was nothing more than a happy twist of fate and that it was ridiculous to think she had the skills to replicate that charm on the other side of the world. Though she knew she had made some positive changes in the time since arriving at the Stirling Inn, they felt minor in comparison to the overall goal of her work and she had a nagging feeling that she was failing to see the big picture.

Sighing away her thoughts, Lorelai went to the makeshift desk she had set up in a back office and carried out her own part of the routine of the inn. As she got absorbed in orders and scheduling, she pushed the doubts to the back of her mind, focusing instead on the papers in front of her.

Sometime later, a familiar voice interrupted her, "So, what's in these amazing breakfasts you've been raving about?"

She looked up to find Luke resting his arms against the doorframe, his head tilted toward her. "Oh you'll see," she said, returning his warm smile. "You haven't experienced breakfast until you've had the full Scottish breakfast."

"She says, to the guy who's been making her breakfast for years," Luke responded dryly.

"Awww, Luke's jealous," she teased, standing and balancing her weight on his shoulder as she leaned in for a kiss.

"I am _not_ jealous of your breakfast," he protested, following her to the dining room. "I'm just curious."

"Patience, my friend, patience," she answered, guiding him toward a table for two.

When their waiter placed two bowls of oatmeal in front of them, Luke gave her a questioning look. "Oatmeal?" He gestured at her bowl, his tone incredulous. "You're eating oatmeal?"

"Most people around here call it porridge, but yeah."

"And the wonders never cease."

As they started eating, Lorelai asked, "So, what do you think?"

"It's good, but so far, I'm not understanding what you see in this."

"Oh there's more. This is only the beginning."

A few minutes later, a basket with a small selection of scones and biscuits arrived at the table and the waiter took their order for eggs and toast. Luke's whole-wheat toast was delivered promptly with a basket of butter and jellies. He looked with surprise at the four pieces of toast propped up in a metal stand. "You said you didn't want toast, right? Why did they bring me four pieces? And what is this thing?"

"Well, there's a whole ritual around toast here. But don't you think that the little stand is cute? You should get some of these for the diner."

"I've been serving toast on plates for years and no one has ever complained."

"Really? Kirk complains about soggy toast all the time."

"Kirk complains if his bacon slices are different lengths. I can't tell you how little influence that has on me."

Lorelai chuckled at Luke's trademark grumpiness, realizing how much she had missed it. This trip and her insecurities had brought out his supportive nature, and while she appreciated his concern, it was reassuring to have her gruff diner guy back. He caught her gazing at him and raised his eyebrows. She just shrugged and returned her attention to her scone, uncharacteristically quiet in the minutes before the waiter brought the rest of their food.

Luke looked down at their heavily loaded plates in disbelief. "Do you really eat all of this? Bacon _and_ sausage, eggs, and-"

Lorelai cut in, "I thought you would appreciate the sautéed mushrooms and tomatoes. In fact, I planned on giving you mine."

"Surprise, surprise." He tapped at a crusty black disc. "Uh…what's this?"

"Oh, that's black pudding," she replied matter-of-factly, trying to hide a grin.

"Black pudding?"

"Yeah, it's kind of a Scottish delicacy."

"Really?" he asked, unsure. Looking back at her, he took a small bite. "Oh my god. That's disgusting, what the hell is that?"

"I told you, black pudding." He gave her an irritated look and she relented, "It's made with oatmeal, pig's blood and suet. What is suet, by the way?"

"People eat that? _You_ eat that?"

"Yeah, I mean other people do. I don't. It's disgusting."

"And you thought I'd like it?"

"Well, I thought if I didn't like it, it would be a sure hit with you. And it was fun watching you try it," She said, grinning.

"So this is it, right? Have I just been outdone by the sheer quantity of food?"

"First of all – yes. You have now experienced the full Scottish breakfast, that which every traveler to Scotland tires of after a few days. Second – who said anything about being outdone? I've been in pancake withdrawal for weeks."

* * *

"Wow. It's pretty up here," Lorelai said wistfully, looking over the castle wall at the small town of Doune and the surrounding scenery, "and the castle is cool. Kind of makes you wonder what it would have been like to live here."

"Cold and uncomfortable. The whole thing is just big, empty stone rooms. I can't imagine being here in the winter."

"Spoilsport."

"You saw the bathrooms, right?"

"You mean those seats conveniently constructed to hang out just beyond the castle wall? Yes, I do much prefer running water myself. But the little rooms with the fireplaces and chutes for boiling oil are kind of cool. Besides," her voice softened as she gave him a quick glance before turning to look again across the grassy fields and rolling hills, "I think it'd be romantic to live in a castle."

Luke looked at her skeptically, "Romantic?"

"Oh, you know, the fair maiden comes up here to the top of the castle wall to be wooed by a knight in shining armor."

"Oh yeah?" he asked, with an amused smile. "And what does said wooing entail?"

"Well, there would be flattering words, serenades, and flowers thrown at her feet."

Luke rolled his eyes, but gave into her story, asking with a smirk, "What does the knight get in exchange for the wooing? Does the fair maiden throw down a rope so that he can climb up and have his way with her?"

"Good God no. She gives him a good luck kiss and a ribbon to wear during the next tournament."

"Figures," he said sarcastically. "So I suppose they fall madly in love and live happily ever after?"

Lorelai thought for a moment, then continued her tale, "No, she doesn't know it, but she's waiting for her Prince Charming, who's not the type to mess with flowery words and songs, but happens to be right there when she gets lost on a horseback ride one morning. He escorts her back to the castle…" her voice trailed off as she dreamed up the next part of the story.

"Does _he_ get a good luck kiss and a ribbon for the tournament?"

She tipped her head to the side and mused, "Well no, see, he's not a knight. He's a…respected merchant in the town."

"Was there such a thing?"

"I don't know, but it's my story, so just go with it."

"But of course."

"So anyway, she sees him again the next time she goes riding, and they talk, and then when the flashy knight breaks her heart, she tells him about it and he comforts her…because he's her friend." She paused for a moment, wondering how far to spin her silly fantasy. Looking back out over the castle wall, and keeping her voice light, she went on. "But see, there's more to the story. He watches the knights woo her and he bides his time, waiting for the right time to reveal his true feelings."

"Hmmm, interesting." Luke whispered softly into her ear as he stepped behind her and slipped his arms around her waist.

Lorelai wasn't exactly sure how her innocent daydream had morphed into the story she was telling but once she started it was hard to back off. "What he doesn't know is that she has feelings of her own. She's getting tired of the knights and their fancy words and their stupid jousts. But he finds out when he finally gets up the nerve to kiss her."

"Really?" Luke sounded surprised, but kept up the pretense of fiction. "She doesn't slap him for being a silly fool? Or send the King to run him out of town?"

"Nope, they live happily ever after," Lorelai concluded, before the subtext could take them too far down a path she was afraid to explore just yet.

"That's it?" Luke asked, sounding just a little disappointed.

"Yeah, well you don't really need any more beyond the happily ever after." Lorelai turned in Luke's arms and put her arms around his neck, "So, what do you think of my story?"

He gave her a knowing smile. "That's a nice little fairy tale you've dreamed up there."

"I'm glad you liked it," she said with a smile and a soft brush of her lips on his. When she pulled back, she slid her arms down his chest and around his waist, resting her head against his shoulder as she held him tightly.

She released him slightly, and he pulled back, giving her a small smile. "Do you want to walk around a little more?"

"Yeah, we haven't been outside. I want to see where those not so porta-potties let out." Lorelai started to head toward the stairs, then looked back to see Luke rolling his eyes, even as he let her take his hand and lead him away.

Once reaching the ground, they exited through the front gate and walked around the side of the castle. As they turned the corner, Lorelai let out a yelp of recognition. "Oh, here it is. This is where they had the swallow debate." At his shake of the head, she gave him a look of disbelief, "Don't tell me you don't remember that, it's the first scene of the movie. Arthur comes along to find knights to join his court and the guards just want to know where he got his coconuts and they get into the whole debate about whether a five-ounce bird can carry a one-pound coconut. And whether it's an African or a European swallow."

"Uh…sure. I remember now," Luke nodded, looking entirely too much like he was humoring her.

"Now you're agreeing just to get me to shut up. Well what about Frenchman scene? That was here too." Lorelai put on her best Michel voice, "'I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed something, uh…can't remember that part, I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.'" Luke looked at her, his eyebrows raised skeptically, trying unsuccessfully to hide a slightly amused smile. She gave a small chuckle before continuing, "Then Galahad asks: 'Is there anyone else we could talk to?' And the Frenchman's like: 'No, no go away or I shall taunt you a second time!'"

Lorelai flashed Luke a proud smile and tapped his chest gently to emphasize the final words. He grasped her hand as she finished, saying with a smile, "You are crazy, you know that, right?"

"Oh come on, don't tell me you don't remember that. You're a guy, right?" At his confused nod, she gave him a devious smile and reached down to cup her hand around the front of his jeans.

"Lorelai, jeez, what the hell are you doing?" Luke pushed her hand away as he looked around with embarrassment.

"Just checking, I mean I thought it was sort of a guy requirement to be able to recite Holy Grail lines," she answered saucily, "You have seen the movie, right?"

"Yes, but apparently not as many times as you have."

After they completed their circuit of the castle, Lorelai steering wide around the areas below the privy holes and Luke teasing her that no one had lived in the castle for hundreds of years, they returned to the car and headed back to the inn.

"Well, that - that was great. We have _so_ got to watch the movie now." She watched Luke roll his eyes. "What?"

"We just spent two hours exploring a really interesting castle and all you can talk about is a movie," he replied, with mock exasperation.

"So you admit it- it was cool."

"It was," he admitted, "and at least you didn't make me do that thing with the coconuts."

"I'm still holding that against you. Rory would've-" She cut herself off once she realized what she had said, shaking her head and turning to look out the window, a lump forming in her throat as she thought about how long it had been since she had talked to Rory.

After a few moments of silence, Luke reached out to touch her knee, "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I just…" She let her voice trail off. It wasn't worth making excuses. He knew what was wrong. Instead she just leaned her head against the cool window and watched field after field of grass slide by. The warm pressure on her knee comforted her and without turning away from the window, she reached down and took his hand in hers, feeling a renewed strength when he gave her fingers a brief squeeze.

It still hurt that she hadn't heard from Rory since arriving in Scotland. At their last dinner, she'd given Rory the number of the inn and also encouraged her to call her cell if she needed anything. She had thought numerous times of calling Rory herself, but found it hard to imagine the conversation they would have. The dinners had been bad enough, with so many topics off-limits, but over the phone the silences would have been more pronounced. Until Rory was willing to talk about some aspect of her life, it hardly seemed worth calling to talk about the weather.

Her eyes must have drifted closed, because when they opened to see the grassy edges of the road just inches from the car, she let out a yelp of fear, "Luke, watch out."

"What?" he answered, just as surprised.

"You're going to run off the road."

"No I'm not. I'm right next to the center-line. The only thing that's going to make me run off the road is you shrieking at me."

"I wasn't shrieking."

"Well, whatever it was, don't do it when we drive out to that Isle of Skye or whatever. Unless you want to drive."

"And let you mock me. No way. You've been practicing. You drive."

"Then no shrieking."

"How about squealing?" She said with a grin, looking over at Luke for the first time since she had mentioned Rory. He just narrowed his eyes at her remark and then gave her a small smile.

They returned to the inn just as lunch was being served and though Luke commented that neither one of them could possibly be hungry after the enormous breakfast, they each ate a small meal. Lorelai picked at her food, still feeling out of sorts, and Luke seemed to recognize her need for quiet companionship. After lunch they headed to the room to figure out how to fit some more sightseeing in around Lorelai's need to get some work done.

As Lorelai reached for the travel guide, Luke spoke up, his smile gone and his eyes worried, "Before we start planning the rest of our day, I want to give you something." Perplexed by his serious tone, she sat down on the bed while he rifled though his suitcase. Pulling out an envelope, he turned toward her. "It's from Rory."

"Rory?" Lorelai breathed. "When did she…did she bring that to you? Did she come to see you?" She couldn't decide how to feel about Rory going to Luke and yet avoiding any communication with her.

Luke blew out a breath and ran his hand across his eyes before answering, "She came by the Wednesday after you left and-"

"You've had it since then?"

He lowered his eyes, and took a breath before answering, "No, she came by then, but she's been coming for dinners on Wednesdays and Saturdays since you left."

"She's been coming for dinner…and you didn't tell me?" Lorelai didn't even try to hide the hurt in her voice.

"She asked me not to," he replied apologetically.

"Why?"

His expression conveyed his guilt. "She thought it would make you upset."

"She thought _that_ would make me upset? What makes me upset is my daughter who won't talk to me having dinner with you and neither one of you thinking you should mention it." She knew that she was blowing this out of proportion, but she felt so disconnected from her daughter, that even Luke's good intentions felt like a betrayal.

"I wanted to tell you."

"So that's why you waited a whole day before mentioning it?" She couldn't help the angry tone in her voice.

Luke gave her an apologetic look, then looked down where his hands gripped the envelope. "I had just gotten here and you said you didn't want to talk about the inn, about anything, that you just wanted to hang out, and …I was putting it off. I should have told you sooner." He lifted his eyes to meet hers. "I'm sorry."

"Can I see it?" He looked confused at the sudden change in subject. "The letter. Can I see the letter?"

He handed it to her, saying, "She wanted you to know that she's okay, and that she misses you." Lorelai's throat closed up briefly at his statement. She looked at him for a long moment, his pleading eyes meeting her cold stare.

As she opened the envelope and pulled out the letter, she turned away from Luke to read it.

_Dear Mom,_

_I hope your consulting job is going well. I miss seeing you. You might not believe that since our dinners have been kind of uncomfortable, but it's true. I'm sorry that I haven't talked to you about everything that's going on, but it's hard to talk to you when you're so disappointed in me. I am trying to get my life straightened out, but there are just so many things I'm still unsure of._

_I started my community service assignment, working in the daycare center in a homeless shelter in downtown Hartford. It's given me a lot to think about. I just want you to know that I'm okay. Well, maybe not completely okay, but I'm getting there._

_Luke has been really great. Please don't be angry at him for not telling you about the dinners. I asked him not to. I was afraid it would upset you, though I can't really explain why. _

_If you want to call me, I'd like that. Even though it's been a little weird, I miss seeing you, and I'd love to hear about how the job is going._

_I hope that you're okay. I got a little worried when you started making plans to travel right after getting engaged, but Luke told me that everything is fine. It is, right? You're not freaking out, are you?_

_I hope to hear from you._

_Love,_

Rory 

Reading the first part of the letter, Lorelai felt tears welling in her eyes. Knowing that Rory missed whatever small comfort the dinners had provided was reassuring, even though it still felt as if she wasn't being allowed into Rory's life. It stung that Rory had been able to go to Luke but had not called her.

When Lorelai read the last paragraph, she drew in a sharp breath. Luke reacted by resting his hand on her shoulder and asking, "Are you okay?"

She swung around swiftly to face him, questions building. "Why do people think that I left?'

Luke seemed baffled by the question, "Huh? They know you're consulting."

"No, why do people think that I left _now_?" she persisted, her voice sharp.

His eyes swam with confusion. "What? I don't get-"

Lorelai turned and began to pace, "Rory asked why I left right after we got engaged. She's worried that I'm running away." She stopped and looked back at Luke questioningly, "Is that what everyone thinks? Luke proposed and Lorelai freaked out and ran off to another country?"

"No," he said, drawing out the word as if he wanted to say more.

"Really?" She went back to pacing. Somehow the movement kept her from completely losing it. "And yet Rory's asking, and if Rory's asking after I explained what I was doing, it makes me wonder what everyone else is wondering. If they're wondering why I ran off and left poor Luke. Except they don't know that it was you who wanted me to come, that it was your idea." Once the rush of words started, all of her insecurities and uncertainties - about Luke, about Rory, about the inn – flowed out, like the foam in a soda bottle shaken too hard. "You thought I should try it. Well, I have tried it Luke, because you encouraged me to, but I think that the experiment has failed, because I don't know how to fix an inn in Scotland. I know how to run the Dragonfly, which is back in Stars Hollow. So why am I here, in this place, with no idea what I'm doing?"

Luke just stared at her, his mouth slightly open, taken aback by her outburst. "But you were just telling me yesterday all the things that you've been working on."

It rankled that Luke kept focusing on her work, not hearing her desire to be home. "Things any organized person would do. I have nothing new to offer, no ideas about the one thing they really want me to focus on."

"Lorelai, of course you can do this. You just need more time to figure it out. You've only been here a few weeks."

"No. You're not listening to me." She grew more frustrated and as much as she knew that there were many things she was upset about, somehow it always came back to the same question about Luke's intention. Knowing she was afraid to confront him about that – to ask him why he had really sent her away – she refocused that fear and anger on her work. "I don't know what I'm doing. I've been here a month and I have no clearer idea how to help than I did when I got here. Why won't you listen to me? I've been telling you this, but you're not listening. And now I find out that Rory's been coming to _you_ to talk. I'm her mother. I should be at home, but I'm here because you told me to come and I feel totally lost and you're not helping." She knew that she wasn't being fair, that Luke was feeling the brunt of everything that was screwed up in her life, but she was determined to make him hear her.

She looked up at Luke, who looked dumbfounded. He opened his mouth to speak and then seemed to think better of it.

"What?" Lorelai asked, pushing him.

"I don't know what you want me to say," he looked at her almost helplessly. "All I want to do is help you, but I guess you don't want to hear it."

"Well you're not helping." She felt her voice, sharp and bitter.

That seemed to have pushed Luke over the edge, and his response bordered on angry, "Then maybe I should leave you alone for a while."

Though she knew her words were responsible, it still hurt that his first response was to leave. "Fine. You know what? Why don't you go sightseeing without me this afternoon? I have to work anyway." Her words sounded unnecessarily harsh, but before she could take them back he turned to go.

"Fine, I'll see you later." Lorelai didn't register the defeated tone in his voice until the door clicked closed.

Though she desperately wanted to go after Luke, to apologize for her harsh words, Lorelai couldn't be sure he would be willing to hear her. She remained rooted in place, numbed by the severity of the argument, and unable to think clearly for several long minutes. Finally, after a few deep breaths and an almost tangible attempt to push the fight from her head, she squared her shoulders and headed down to her desk.

In an attempt to bury her thoughts, Lorelai threw herself into the managerial details of the inn. Unfortunately, all the tiny details only reinforced her feelings about what she saw as the insignificance of her work and reminded her that she still hadn't come up with a broad plan to address the occupancy rate at the inn. Worse yet, she felt like she couldn't even identify a problem. It had been a long time since working had made her feel so unnecessary.

Eventually, in spite of her efforts, her thoughts strayed to Luke and Rory. As unfair as it was to Luke, it killed her that Rory would rather have dinner with him and talk to him, than call her. She felt further from Rory than she had ever been, even more than when she put her on a plane to Europe after the disaster with Dean. Somehow last summer she had known that Rory would come back to her, confide in her, and need her. This time, she couldn't be so sure.

Rory's letter itself felt like an accusation, the kind words at the beginning trumped by the insinuation that she was again running from commitment, that she would again hurt a man who loved her. That Lorelai knew the truth of the situation was no consolation. Rory suspected it, which meant others did too. Given her history, how could they not? Why would anyone believe Luke had encouraged her to leave? Why would they believe it, when she herself did not understand it? In one of her bleakest moments, after yet another betrayal by her parents and estrangement from her daughter, Luke had been there. And she knew she wanted him there always, that she wanted to allow herself to depend on him in a way she had never allowed with anyone else. She thought his response to the proposal had been his way of saying the same thing, of letting her into his life in a way he hadn't allowed others. That it was a way of showing that he needed her. But then he had sent her away and made her wonder if he really needed her as much as she had come to need him. And instead of asking the question that angered and terrified her, she had hidden behind other hurt, other anger, and it had driven him away.

Lorelai could feel tears pricking her eyes. She felt the urge to put her head down on the desk and sob. It was fruitless to continue pretending to work. After checking in with the assistant manager and the chef, she made a clumsy excuse about a headache and dragged herself to her room. Once there, she sank onto the bed, collapsing under the combined weight of Rory's decisions and Luke's apparent indecision.

_To be continued_


	4. Cathedrals and Contemplation

**Disclaimer: **No, not mine. 

**Author's Note:** Once again, thanks to the spectacular betas, **JeSouhaite** and **CineFille**.

* * *

Luke closed the door behind him and let out a huge sigh, rubbing his eyes with one hand. He had no idea what had happened, how his not telling Lorelai about his dinners with Rory had spun into her angry tirade that seemed to be about so much more. He felt guilt, compassion, frustration, and anger in almost equal measure, though the more he thought about it the angrier he became. He needed to leave, to get far away until he could calm down and think more rationally. Besides, she wanted him to go.

Without conscious thought, he headed to the car and got in. Putting the key in the ignition, he realized he had no idea where he was going or what he was doing. He curled his hands into fists and rested his forearms against the steering wheel. After only a few moments, he could feel the tension in his shoulders and blew out a breath in an attempt to relax. Leaning his head forward on his fists, he took deep breaths and tried to make sense of what had just happened.

A part of him had known that Lorelai would be upset to find out about his dinners with Rory, that he shouldn't have kept them from her. He had known without asking that she hadn't talked to Rory since leaving for Scotland. It had to be killing her to be at such odds with her daughter, but she hadn't mentioned it, which made it easier for Luke to honor Rory's request to keep it between them.

In the beginning, he had agreed without fully thinking through the consequences, perhaps hoping that whatever connection he could make with Rory would help him bring mother and daughter back together in some small way. His naïve hope kept him encouraging, nudging Rory without outright pushing, each dinner bringing him a touch of disappointment and guilt that he couldn't set things right and that he was still hiding something from Lorelai.

Rory's first visit had only been a couple of days after Lorelai left, when Luke had buried himself in the routine of the diner so as to avoid counting the days until he saw her again. He heard the bell ring announcing an arrival in the diner, but reached to grab a couple more things from the storeroom before returning to the front. He stopped abruptly when he saw her sitting at the counter. "Rory."

"Luke."

"What are you…?" he started. "Oh. It's Wednesday. Dinner. She's not-"

"I know. I'm sorry. I got in the car before I remembered and then I didn't want to go back. I can go…" Looking at her, Luke realized that though he'd known Rory since she was a young child, he had never seen her look quite so lost.

"No. Stay. Let me make you some dinner." His voice was kind and firm. Rory had begun to stand, then stopped and gave a small nod of agreement before sitting again.

"Can I have a cheeseburger? And a Coke?"

"Of course."

Luke used the time while he was making the cheeseburger and serving other customers to watch Rory. She fidgeted nervously with the strap on her purse in between glances around the diner. He wished once again, but this time for Rory's sake, that Mrs. Kim hadn't convinced Lane to go on tour with her band. Rory could have used Lane right about now; he was going to be a poor substitute.

He brought the cheeseburger, then settled up with a few other customers. Once they left, the diner was almost empty. Luke walked over to Rory, unsure whether to act as diner guy or soon-to-be stepfather. Diner guy won out temporarily, "Everything okay? Do you need anything else?"

"No, everything's good," she answered softly. He nodded, knowing he should say something else, but at a loss for the appropriate words. A few beats past the point when the lull had grown uncomfortable, she spoke, "You've talked to her, right?"

He nodded again. "Yeah, we've talked a few times."

"Is she, you know, doing okay?"

"She's still getting used to it, but I think she's going to be fine."

"Yeah, she will. She always is."

The note of wistfulness, almost envy, in her voice reminded him again that this was a sadness he hadn't seen before and though he was afraid to pry, he couldn't help but ask, "How are you? Are you okay?"

She looked up and gave him a small smile, and he was suddenly glad he had asked. "Yeah, I'm okay." Her tone wasn't convincing, however, and her expression of regret spoke volumes. Another uncomfortable lull passed, then another before Rory's words broke the silence, "I started my community service this week."

Surprised and pleased that she was opening up, he asked, "What do they have you doing?"

"I'm working in a daycare center in a homeless shelter in Hartford."

The protective streak came out unbidden, "Is it safe?"

"Yeah it's safe," she answered, smiling at his concern. "And I'm learning a lot. I haven't spent much time around young kids. I'm actually enjoying it, probably more than I'm supposed to." Her expression turned grim at this, as if she'd briefly forgotten that her summer job was a punishment for a crime, as if suddenly reminded that she didn't recognize herself.

"Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it, regardless." Yet another silence followed, this time broken by the final customer asking for the check. In the time that it took Luke to settle the bill, Rory had finished eating. She started to open her purse, and Luke interrupted, "You're not doing what I think you're doing?"

"What? I should get going." Her wallet was out now. She stood holding it, a confused expression on her face."

"You are not paying." His voice was soft, but the tone was firm.

"But, Luke-"

"No," he said, reaching for a to-go container and placing a piece of pie in it, "Here's something for later."

She looked at him for a long moment, as if debating her next words, then shrugged and said, "Thanks Luke…for everything."

"You're welcome," he paused and she turned to go, "and Rory?"

She turned back, "Yeah?"

"Come by on Saturday, you know, if you want to."

She smiled then, a real smile. "I'll do that. Well, see you then." She turned toward the door, then turned back, one more time. "Hey Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to tell her I came?"

He let out a breath slowly to buy him time before responding. "I don't think I should keep it from her."

Rory bit her lip then looked down, studying the container of pie in her hands. When she met his eyes again, all he could see was a nervous fragility that completely unnerved him. She took a breath before speaking. "I just…need a little more time."

He narrowed his eyes, evaluating. "Why don't you want her to know?"

"She'll be hurt I'm coming here, talking to you instead of her." He gave a slight involuntary nod and Rory continued, "Please Luke?"

"You could call her. She'd like to hear from you."

"I know, and I will, but not yet. There's too much…just, not yet. But I will." Her eyes were pleading and his resolve crumbled. He'd never really been able to deny either of the Lorelais anything.

"Okay," he hesitated. "For now. See you Saturday."

"See you then."

The dinners continued after that, in the same manner. Rory came to the diner on Wednesdays and Saturdays and sat at the counter. The arrangement allowed them the pretense of casual interactions. It kept their conversations on the edges of topics and made the lulls less conspicuous.

The Wednesday before Luke left for Scotland, Rory surprised him by sitting at a table. When the last customer left, he joined her, knowing there was a reason for her change in venue. She slid an envelope across the table, "Can you give it to her? Tell her…tell her I'm okay? Tell her I miss her?"

Not until he had accepted the letter did he realize that he had let her put him in the middle of the whole situation. In the short conversation that followed, he tried in vain to convince her to call her mother, to let Rory explain why they needed to keep the dinners from Lorelai, because he'd be damned if he could come up with a good reason.

He lifted his head slowly from the steering wheel, the rough stone wall of the inn in front of him just a beige blur. Blinking until he was clear-eyed, he turned the key. Without a clear destination in mind, he headed in the direction of the castle they had just visited that morning. Partway there, he saw a sign with the name of a town he recognized from the tour book and veered off in that direction, trying to remember the point of interest.

Luke found driving on the left side of the road required just enough concentration to prevent constant replay of the conversation with Lorelai. He pushed aside those thoughts and focused on the center-line to his right. A few minutes later, he approached what appeared to be a small town. After navigating some confusing one-way streets, he saw a large stone church with a tower and remembered that this town was the one known for a historic cathedral. He drove around the churchyard and stopped the car in the parking lot, as good a place as any to leave it, especially being almost completely empty at mid-afternoon on a Sunday. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped out of the car, leaning on the roof of the car after shutting the door.

Glancing around, Luke took in the weathered appearance of the cathedral and the headstones dotting the surrounding graveyard. Just beyond there appeared to be a river, toward which he headed, eager to get into motion and at the same time reluctant to begin processing his jumbled thoughts. As he walked along the river, impressed in spite of himself at the picturesque scene, he suddenly wished that Lorelai were with him. There was something about the quaint beauty of this town that reminded him of Stars Hollow, but he couldn't fully appreciate it alone.

As much as he felt Lorelai's absence, Luke knew that he needed to process what had happened before seeing her again. He needed to not be angry at her and to do that he needed to understand what had prompted her harsh words. The anger and hurt at not knowing about his dinners with Rory was not wholly unexpected. He still felt pangs of guilt for keeping that from her. What was harder to understand was her almost hostile reaction to his words of encouragement. He replayed conversations they'd had, trying to remember the concerns she expressed and wondering if the difficulties she had described were worse than he'd realized. No matter what she said, however, he refused to believe, as she said, that she couldn't do the consulting job. He only had to remember her confident air when he arrived at the Stirling Inn and the way that the staff had come to respect her in such a short time. There was no doubt in his mind of her ability, but he resolved to listen more carefully to her reservations, assuming that she shared them anymore.

What surprised him most about Lorelai's outburst was her concern about what other people thought about the reason for the trip. To the few people who had asked, Luke explained that he had encouraged Lorelai to take advantage of the opportunity to consult, and most people seemed to accept that. Patty had flashed him a sympathetic glance, but he'd put that up to her teasing him about his loneliness. Maybe there had been more to it than that, but he honestly didn't care what people thought, and it surprised and confused him to think that Lorelai did.

A cool breeze brushed his face and brought him out of his thoughts. He heard the soft rush of the river and leaned against the railing to watch the water swirl around rocks near the shore. He couldn't say how long he stood there, focusing on the turbulent water instead of his troubled thoughts.

The chatter of two children with their mother made him look up, and catching their cheerful eyes briefly, he stood and moved on. He wandered the town in a lazy loop along the river, over the railroad tracks and back, acknowledging the friendly smiles with small nods. Eventually, his route wound up the one-way road that had baffled him on entering the town and he followed it back to the cathedral.

On impulse, instead of heading directly to the car, Luke walked over to the cathedral and tried the door, expecting it to be locked. To his surprise, it opened and, walking past a small table with touristy pamphlets, he took that to mean he could enter. Looking around, he saw that even though the building was silent there were a few other people visiting as well. He headed toward what appeared to be the front, reading the descriptions and explanations in the pamphlet he'd picked up. Luke had never been particularly religious, but there was something about the history and architecture of the church that struck him. The stone, even inside, was worn from age, some parts dating to medieval times. When he circled around to the back of the cathedral, he noticed a list engraved into the wall, delineating all of the bishops or ministers who had served in this location since the year 602 AD. There were gaps of time in some places, but seeing the engraved names, one-word names for the early years and the still shiny ones that had recently been added, brought home the history in a way that hit him hard.

He sat in one of the rows of seats nearby, leaning forward, burying his face in his hands. The town felt like home in many ways, though it admittedly had more history and was somewhat less quirky than Stars Hollow. It reminded him that no matter how charming or beautiful a destination, he would always be relieved to be home. There was comfort there. He had set down roots and he wanted to continue to let those roots grow with Lorelai. He wanted them to make their own history, their own family. And he wanted her to want that as much as he did. Everything, including the family and the kids.

They hadn't had a conversation about kids. Somehow, in all of the craziness with Rory and Lorelai preparing for her trip, the reason for buying the Twickham house had been lost in the details. Lorelai had never asked about his "What about the kids?" slip. He told himself that it was perfectly reasonable, given everything that Lorelai had been dealing with, but he feared there was more to it than that. Was she avoiding the topic because she didn't want him to explain his comment or the reason for the Twickham house? He had avoided he conversation as well, not wanting to ask a question only to get an answer he didn't want to hear. Not wanting to find out that Lorelai's vision of their future didn't match his dream of starting a family in the place he'd always called home.

* * *

Luke returned to the inn just before dinner-time, searching the main floor of the inn for Lorelai before asking Anne, the chef who had become friends with Lorelai, if she knew where Lorelai was. Her expression grew slightly concerned as she informed him that Lorelai had gone to lie down a while ago, complaining of a headache.

He swallowed and nodded, before heading toward the room with trepidation. Turning the key in the lock as quietly as possible, he opened the door. Though at early evening the sun was still quite high in the sky, the drapes were closed and the room was dim. Lorelai lay curled on the bed facing away from him, clutching a pillow. It was impossible to determine if she was awake or asleep. He walked around to the other side of the bed, lowering himself into a chair across from her. Even in the low light he could see the salty tracks of tears on her cheeks and the puffiness of her eyes. Just as he was about to take her hand, her eyelids slid open to reveal her bloodshot eyes, further evidence of her misery. He couldn't recall ever seeing her look quite so sad.

"Luke…you're here." It was a simple statement, with neither a positive or negative connotation. She sat up slightly, leaning on one arm, ducking her head as if avoiding his gaze, while rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand.

As much as Luke wanted to gather her in his arms, he wasn't sure how angry she was and he got the impression that she wasn't comfortable with him seeing that she had been so upset. He put his hand on her shoulder and said softly, "As long as you're awake, let me go get us some food. I'll be right back." With a gentle squeeze to her shoulder, he started to get up. Before he could stand, Lorelai reached for his hand, holding on for a moment, whispering a thank you before releasing it.

When he returned, the drapes were open, the room brighter. Lorelai sat on the bed, looking more composed. He sat next to her, putting his hand on her knee. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," she answered, after a moment's pause, then deflected any further questioning by asking, "You got food?"

He offered her a small tentative smile. "Yeah. Just some soup and salad. I got some bread too."

"That sounds perfect."

They ate their food sitting on the bed, Luke leaning against the headboard and Lorelai cross-legged to his side, facing him. Other than the necessities of passing food, they spoke little, until Luke finished his soup and set it aside. Turning back, he saw her looking at him, her eyes sad. He met her gaze and said simply, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" There was no bitterness or anger in her voice, just simple curiosity.

He took a breath before answering, to give himself another moment to figure out what had been his biggest transgression. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the dinners with Rory."

Something in her expression told him that she'd been hoping for a different answer. "Why didn't you?"

"She asked me not to," he said, regretting the agreement he'd made with Rory. "I tried to get her to call you."

"But she didn't." Her voice sounded resigned. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not really. It's just," Lorelai pinched the bridge of her nose, then let her hands fall to the bed in a gesture of defeat. "I don't feel like I even know her anymore. And the thing is, I don't know when she started changing. How did I miss it? When did this happen? When did she stop being Rory?"

"For what it's worth, I think that she's wondering the same things, trying to figure out how things got so out of control." He looked down, taking her hand in his, circling his thumb around her palm. "You know, you're still the one whose opinion matters most to her."

Lorelai lifted her head to meet his eyes, then asked softly, "What? She told you that?"

He shrugged. "You can see how lost she is just looking at her. And the rest…I was just listening to what she said."

"What did you talk about?" He heard a touch of jealousy and he realized just how much it hurt Lorelai to no longer be Rory's confidante.

"Mostly about her community service job at the daycare center. She asked me about what was going on in the town."

"And she expected you to know?" she asked sarcastically.

He had to smile at that, but then added gently, "She asked about you."

"Yeah?" She sounded encouraged.

"She wanted to know how you were doing, if I'd talked to you, so I told her some of the stuff you told me about the inn. Mostly though, it was just small talk."

"Small talk? You? Really?" she teased.

He gave her a rueful smile, his head tilted to the side, then sighed. "Well, it was more talk on her end."

"And you listened, just like always," Lorelai sighed sadly.

"Apparently, not always," he countered, his voice apologetic.

"Luke-"

He cut her off, not willing to let her brush that off as well. "I'm sorry about that too."

"No, I'm sorry. You've been nothing but supportive and I yelled at you for it. I was just upset about Rory and I took it out on you." She looked at him, eyes pleading.

"That's not all it is." He said this with a quiet certainty and her look turned evasive. "Can we give it another try? Tell me what's really going on and why you're so unhappy here?"

"I just overreacted. I'm not unhappy. It's just…I'm fine." Her look begged him to drop it, which meant, of course, that she was anything but fine. Luke knew from experience, though, that this was her way of ending the conversation, at least temporarily, so he didn't respond. Instead, he pulled her into his arms and from the desperate way she held him, it seemed that she needed that most of all.

They sat quietly then, in the darkening room, she with her head against his chest, he with his arms around her. Luke had no idea how much time had passed when Lorelai lifted her head and looked him in the eye, "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too."

She leaned in and kissed him deeply, her fingers tightly gripping his arms. He pulled back reluctantly, craving the feel of her lips on his, but not wanting to push himself on her. She gave him a curious look then rested her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest. He could feel the heat of her hand burning into his chest and then the hot patterns she traced with her fingers. The slow circles continued and after a few minutes, her fingers continued their path up to his neck and along his jawline. She pressed kisses up his throat until she reached his mouth, parting her lips to draw him in, while continuing her caresses. He yielded to her and she turned her body toward his. "I thought I could turn you on if I tried. Let's not the opportunity go to waste," she whispered in a low, breathless voice.

"Lorelai, we don't have to," he said gently, running the backs of his fingers across her cheek.

She looked wounded. "You don't want me?"

The look on her face made his heart ache. "I didn't say that. I just understand if you don't feel like it."

"Oh, I feel like it, and now I'm going to make you feel like it too." She pressed hot kisses along his jaw and throat, as she shifted to straddle his lap.

"Somehow, I don't think that's going to be a problem," he teased.

"Good," she said, the seriousness in her tone taking him by surprise, letting him know that whatever was going on here had nothing to do with playfulness or fun. She focused on him with taut determination, her touches and kisses a tangible reminder of just how well she knew him. Feeding off his moans and sighs, she persisted almost feverishly, only allowing him brief opportunities to reciprocate.

In a breathless voice she asked him over and over what he wanted, what he needed, ignoring his attempts to turn the question back to her. Not fully understanding what she was thinking, but knowing that for some reason this was necessary, he surrendered to her, let her take charge. And in the end, as she moved above him and begged to hear him, everything he felt for her burst from his lips in great gasps of love, desire and need.

As she relaxed into his embrace, he felt the tension leave her body. Her breath whispered against his neck as she spoke, "I love you, Luke. You know that, right?" Her words revealed a quiet anxiety.

He leaned up on one arm so he could push the hair away from her face and look into her eyes, which swam with uncertainty and sadness. His voice was soft and concerned. "Of course. I love you too."

"Really?"

The intensity of the question tugged at him and he pulled her to him until he could feel the beat of her heart against his. "Absolutely."

"Good," she sighed, her breath tickling the hairs on his neck. Luke pressed a kiss to her temple and lay back, relieved to have her back in his arms again, even as he worried about all she hadn't told him. "Hey, Luke?" he heard her whisper softly.

"Yeah."

"I'm not going to run off on you. Maybe that's what the town thinks I'm doing, but I'm not. You know that, right?" Her voice sounded almost desperate.

"Of course I don't think that," he reassured, smoothing her hair. "And I can't imagine anyone else thinks that either." It wasn't that he worried she would leave him. It was more that he worried she would sacrifice her happiness to stay.

* * *

The following day was spent doing more sightseeing around Stirling and planning their jaunt to the Isle of Skye. Lorelai looked like a toned down version of herself, as if someone had used a dimmer switch to lower the level of brilliance of her typical inner spark. She wasn't as quick with her comebacks and Luke found himself setting himself up in an attempt to bring back the banter. There were moments of quiet contemplation, during which she looked off into the distance and he could tell her mind was somewhere else. She clung to him a bit more tightly than usual, always with his hand in hers, or her arm looped around his elbow. Lorelai had always been affectionate, but there was a touch of something new in the gestures, a need that both encouraged and worried him.

At lunch, Luke watched Lorelai, at a loss for a way to improve her mood, to bring back the lightness to her eyes. He knew that so much of her stress was due to the situation with Rory and he desperately wanted to bring the two of them together, to at least give some purpose to their horrendous fight the previous day.

Knowing what he wanted to say, but not thinking clearly about the best way to phrase it, he blurted, "You should call Rory." Lorelai's eyes widened in surprise, her mouth falling slightly open. Luke shook his head and closed his eyes, bracing himself for her response, "I mean…I shouldn't…" He wanted to kick himself for the presumption in his words.

"If she wanted to talk to me, she would've called," Lorelai said sullenly, but not sounding completely convinced. She looked down at her plate, where she was poking at bits of meat with her fork.

"She's trying. She sent you a letter. It's a start," he pleaded, willing her to look up at him.

"I just don't get why it's so hard to call me. Why doesn't she want to talk to me?" She had stabbed one piece of chicken and was sliding it slowly around her plate.

"She's the one who screwed up," Luke said softly, "and she knows it."

Lorelai looked up at that, her expression soft but sad. "I just don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to go back to what we had."

"You won't get there all at once."

She stared at him, her expression unreadable and he wondered suddenly if he had tread too far. After a long moment, she turned to look in her purse, pulled out her cell phone, and after shooting Luke a quick glance, got up from the table and walked in the direction of her office. That she had given in without more of a fight spoke volumes about her mood.

Luke had almost finished eating by the time she returned about ten minutes later. He gave her a questioning look as she sat down.

Sighing, she spoke without emotion, "It was fine. She told me a little about the day care center. I told her a little about the inn. She…uh…said she missed me. I'm going to call her a couple times a week about this time."

Luke tried very hard not to appear too eager. "That's good, right?"

"I guess, though I suspect she chose that time because it's morning there and she won't have time for a long chat." She shrugged. "Anyway, it's done. Now, what was this about the Wallace Monument? If you want me to climb that with you, we better go before I realize what you've talked me into."

Her tone was final, and Luke knew the conversation was over.

Later that night, when Luke pulled out the Holy Grail in an attempt to hear her laugh, he saw her eyes dance for the first time that day. They sat close together on the bed, Lorelai's laptop resting on Luke's outstretched legs, Lorelai chuckling and eagerly pointing out any glimpse of the now-familiar castle. He thrilled to see her smiling. When exhaustion started to overtake her, and Luke teased her about falling asleep during the movie, she just responded with a crack that it was his fault for making her climb the stupid tower. Frankly, he had been surprised she'd agreed to it. If he hadn't already been clued into the change in her demeanor, her willingness to participate in anything remotely resembling exercise would have been a sure clue that something was off.

Luke pulled her so that she could lean on his chest, his fingers brushing her hair back from her face and gently stroking her back, trying to sooth away her worries. They were only halfway through the movie when her breathing evened out into that of a deep sleep. Luke stopped the DVD and set her computer aside, then turned and laid her gently on the pillows. Even in her sleep, she reached for him and held tightly, as if afraid to let go.

_To be continued_


	5. The Road to the Isles

**Disclaimer:** Still not mine. I'm just playing. 

**Author's Note:** I owe continued praise and thanks to my wonderful betas, **JeSouhaite** and **CineFille**, I've found this chapter and the one following particularly difficult to write and their feedback has been so helpful.

**The Road to the Isles**

As they put distance between themselves and Stirling, Lorelai began to feel a weight lift off her shoulders. She had longed for time alone with Luke, but being with him in Stirling was a constant reminder of her worry about why she was there. On their own, it was easier to pretend that they were simply on a vacation and put off her concerns for a while.

Beyond the brief conversation when Luke returned to the inn the other night, they hadn't discussed their argument. Lorelai hated having wasted any of Luke's visit fighting and had been relieved when he returned. Ever since then he seemed to be watching her warily. If he had other concerns, he had held his tongue, except to encourage her to call Rory.

She wanted to be angry at Luke for having time with Rory, for being in the middle of their mother-daughter argument, but when he'd looked at her with eyes pleading to call her daughter, she knew that his only motivation was concern for her. It softened her anger, and by picking up the phone to make the call, she knew that she'd allowed another small shift in their relationship, permitting him a role not only in her life, but a voice in her relationship with Rory as well.

Lorelai waited until she was in her office before taking a deep breath and dialing the number for Rory's cell. She knew that her reluctance to call Rory had been cowardly, but it had been easier not to call Rory than to call her and be shut out. She tapped her fingers nervously while waiting for the connection to go through. After a few rings, Rory answered, obviously confused by the timing of the call. "Hello?"

"Hey." Having initiated contact, Lorelai suddenly found herself at a loss for words. "Is it too early there?"

"Mom?" A pause followed the note of surprise before Rory continued, "Uh…no, I'm getting ready for work, at…uh…the daycare center."

"Yeah, I heard. Luke gave me your letter." She took a breath. "And that's going well?"

"I guess. I mean, given the…circumstances, it's as good as could be expected," Rory replied, stumbling over the words.

"Yeah," Lorelai answered, her voice resigned. The thought of her daughter having a criminal record still hurt almost too much to process.

"How's Scotland?"

Relieved at the subject change, she responded with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. "It's great. This place is beautiful. I miss Stars Hollow, though."

"Me too."

Rory's wistful words brought back the ache of watching her daughter moving into the poolhouse. "Well, you're all set," she said bitterly. "You've got your own place now."

"Mom-" Rory pleaded.

"How are things with the slumlords? I assume you're seeing them a lot."

Rory sighed. "Grandma and Grandpa are fine. You know, you shouldn't be so mad at them. I'm the one who screwed up. They'd like to hear from you. Maybe you could call them."

Lorelai snorted at the suggestion. "Yeah, right."

"I don't get it. I'm the one you're mad at. Why are you taking it out on them?"

Lorelai closed her eyes, realizing why she had avoided calling Rory. So much had built up between them, it was hard to wade through it without anger and bitterness. "Rory, I had an agreement with my parents and they went behind my back and made decisions without consulting me."

"You mean, you agreed on how you were going to handle me?" Rory challenged her. "That may be, but I don't need to be handled. I'm an adult and I'm making my own decisions, without you manipulating me."

"Is that what you think, that I'm trying to manipulate you? That I don't want you to be an adult?"

"Isn't that what you were trying to do with Grandma and Grandpa?"

"I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to help you figure it out."

"By sending me back to Yale?"

"I just think you're making some hasty decisions."

Lorelai heard Rory take a deep breath before speaking again. "Look Mom, I know that I screwed up, and I let you down, and I know that you don't approve of how I'm handling it."

"I'm just worried about you," Lorelai said softly.

When Rory spoke again, her voice was quiet. "I miss you…" A thick silence followed, both of them unsure where to venture next. "Is everything okay with you and Luke?"

"Yeah, we're good," Lorelai answered, a little too hastily.

"And you're still getting married?"

The question struck a nerve and Lorelai's response was immediate. "Of course we're still getting married? Why would you say that?"

"You didn't get mad at him, did you?" Though the tone of the question was gentle, it was laced with understanding. "I told him not to tell you about the dinners. It wasn't his idea."

Lorelai evaded. "We're fine."

"Mom? You did get mad, didn't you?"

"I told you. We're fine." Her words were final. "Why didn't you want me to know?"

"I thought…I knew you'd be upset…"

"Why? Because my daughter doesn't want to talk to me?" Lorelai asked, unable to hide the hurt.

"It's just that there's so much…It's hard." Rory's voice begged with her to understand, to forgive, and Lorelai responded gently.

"You don't have to be afraid of me. You can talk to me."

"I wish I could," She answered, a little sadly. "Mom. I meant what I said. I do miss you."

"I miss you too, kid."

The words hung in the awkward silence, neither knowing what to say next. "Well, I need to get to…work."

"Of course. I guess I'll see you…" her voice trailed off, not wanting the connection to end now that it had been established, but unsure how to maintain it.

It was a relief to hear Rory add, "Hey Mom, you can call again, if you…uh…want to. This is a probably the best time of day. By the time I get done with work and eat dinner, it's probably pretty late for you."

"Good, I'll do that. Bye Rory."

"Bye Mom. I'm glad you called."

"Me too." After hanging up the phone, Lorelai stood in her office fighting back tears, before composing herself enough to return to the table.

Remembering the phone call brought the melancholy back and Lorelai spent a good deal of the morning drive with her head against the passenger window watching the scenery pass by. It didn't hurt that their route took them through a national park, the road skirting around quiet lochs surrounded by wooded hills. Luke occasionally cast her worried glances, which she returned with reassuring smiles, but for the most part he honored her uncharacteristic silence. She let herself be comforted by his presence and the occasional hand on her knee.

A part of her desperately wanted to ask him why she was here. Why did he want her to come? And most of all, did he really want to marry her? When Rory had asked yesterday, she had answered 'of course,' they were still getting married. Not until she said the words to her daughter had the realization sunk in that she wasn't completely sure. Luke had put off any conversation about their wedding and had pushed the consulting job so much it made her wonder how much he wanted her back in Stars Hollow.

Lorelai knew she should ask him, talk to him about her concerns, but jumping into difficult conversations had never been her way. It wasn't that she feared his answer…exactly. But if his, "yes, I want to marry you," was preceded by a hesitant pause or followed by a "but…" she didn't think she could bear to hear it. Every time a new worry cropped up, Lorelai countered it with an optimistic image – Luke's attention and concern, the looks he gave her while they made love, and way she could make his eyes light up just by saying the word fiancé. Her concerns battled with hopefulness as if in an extended tennis match. Right now it felt as if the worries were ahead, but the further they moved along the road away from Stirling, the more the worries struggled to maintain their advantage.

Luke tolerated Lorelai's increasingly frequent requests to stop and snap pictures, even grunting his appreciation as they passed through Glen Coe, but he took her completely by surprise when they reached Loch Leven. Pulling over without being prompted, he stepped out of the car, and stood with a look of awe on his face as he took in the scene.

"So, pretty huh?" Lorelai asked, teasing.

"Yeah…it's pretty." He looked a bit flustered, then caught himself and continued as if Lorelai had suggested the stop, "You gonna take some pictures?"

She gave him a sidelong glance and smiled to herself. "Sure, I'll take a few."

His simple awe lightened her mood and she spent the next thirty miles reading to him from the travel guide and plotting their stop for lunch. He didn't comment, but didn't seem to mind that she had suddenly found her voice. She filled him in on the historical information included about the area, embellishing and commenting in true Lorelai fashion, enjoying the smirks she got in return.

At her suggestion, they agreed to stop for lunch in Glenfinnan, at the monument to a young prince who had tried unsuccessfully in 1745 to lead the Scots in an effort to take back the throne for the exiled Stuarts. After eating the picnic lunch that Anne had insisted upon packing for them, they walked up a hill to get the full scenic view of the monument.

Lorelai perched on a rock just to the side of the dirt path and pulled Luke down next to her. The monument itself was a fairly simple round tower, with a small statue of the young prince standing on top. It stood, however, at one end of a spectacular lake, tree-covered hills angling up on either side, topped by rocky outcroppings.

Lorelai opened the pamphlet she'd picked up in the visitor center, scanning the text. Much of the information she'd already read in the travel guide, although, "Ooh Luke, listen."

"What?'

"'By 1815 the Jacobite threat had receded sufficiently into history to allow the erection at Glenfinnan of a monument to mark the raising of the standard, paid for by the wealthy descendant of a Jacobite.' Erection. Dirty."

"Jeez, are you twelve?"

She gave him an innocent smile. "I'm not the one built the tower that looks like a giant penis sticking out of the ground. And an erect one at that," she added, giggling.

"Lorelai!" Luke said in a horrified whisper, glancing around them to see if anyone had heard her.

"Oh, don't worry. I'm not going to embarrass you."

"Too late," he said, smiling and enduring a playful poke from her at the remark.

"Maybe it's appropriate though. I mean, he was Bonnie Prince Charlie."

"What the hell does Bonnie mean anyway?"

"I think it's 18th century for hot."

"Ah, it makes perfect sense now," he said wryly.

Lorelai gave him an amused grin, wrapped her hands around his arm and leaned into his shoulder. She sighed softly as she took in the scene. "Well, whatever the story, it is really pretty."

"Yeah." he agreed. "But if this is the beautiful monument, where are those people going?" he pointed at the groups of people walking past them and continuing along the path.

"They must be going to the viaduct. We'll have the check that out too."

"The what?"

"Viaduct. It's a railroad bridge."

He just shrugged his acquiescence, and after a few more minutes of enjoying the quiet Lorelai stood and led him around the path to the other side of the hill. There, a long railroad bridge spanned the valley, the arches under the bridge matching the contour of the ground.

Luke followed the bridge with his eyes, obviously impressed at the structure, reminding Lorelai how he'd admired the architectural details at Chilton during Rory's graduation while obsessing over the cost of insuring it. "Okay, I'll admit, this is a nice bridge, but why are there so many people over here and none looking at the monument?"

Lorelai began to raise her hands in a gesture of ignorance, but was interrupted by a man who looked to be in his twenties, setting up a camera on a tripod. "There's a steam train due in a couple of minutes," he informed them, before going back to fiddling with his camera equipment.

Luke raised his eyebrow at Lorelai. "Okay, I still don't get it."

The camera guy looked back over at them and explained, "This is where they filmed the train scene in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets."

"You're right!" Lorelai exclaimed. "I do remember that."

"You do?" Luke asked skeptically.

"Yeah, and that's another one we can add to our Scotland movie marathon."

Luke rolled his eyes and shook his head. "So let me get this straight. All these people are standing here to watch a train go by just because it looks like one from a movie?"

"It's a sad, sad world, my friend."

* * *

The road became much quieter beyond Glenfinnan and roughly followed the path of the railroad. Lorelai began forcing photo stops ever more frequently. When pressed, Luke grudgingly admitted to being impressed by the views.

Lorelai continuously scanned the map to find their exact location, jerking her head up when Luke slowed the car suddenly. "What the hell kind of sign is that?"

"What?"

"That one," he pointed, "Oncoming vehicles in middle of road. Reduce speed now."

Lorelai chuckled, "Well, that's one way to let us know the road is narrowing. It's nice of them to warn us, though," she said, smiling as Luke grumbled his discontent.

There were several more places where the road narrowed, but as the road began to wind through a forested area it became entirely one lane with occasional passing places. Though the sun was still high, the trees blocked much of the light and Luke grew increasingly frustrated with the visibility and frequent pullovers to allow other cars to drive by.

As they emerged from the trees, they approached the western coast of mainland Scotland and turned north to reach the town where they would catch the ferry to Skye. Lorelai convinced Luke to take the Alternative Coastal Route rather than staying on the main road. "Please Luke? The guide book says that if you have time to take the coastal route."

"I suppose it's one of those single-track roads too?"

"Maybe," Lorelai said, examining the map as she pinched her lower lip between her finger and thumb. "But, it looks like it will be straighter, and you know - since it's the coastal route - not go through the woods."

Luke relented and as they drove they took in the views of the sandy beaches, rocky inlets and grassy dunes. In the distance, Lorelai could make out some of the islands that made up the Inner Hebrides. After about 30 minutes, the road ended at a tiny traffic circle in the town of Mallaig. Following her written notes, Lorelai directed Luke to the parking lot of the small inn where they would be staying. After turning off the car, he took a deep breath and leaned back against the seat.

Lorelai turned toward him and rested her hand on his shoulder. "Hey, you did of lots of crazy driving today. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It was just that stretch through the woods. The rest was okay. I'm just glad we're here."

"Yeah, me too. Let's find some dinner."

Luke raised his eyebrows and shook his head slightly, "Because, let me guess…even though Anne packed us the largest lunch known to man, you are somehow hungry again already."

"Well, the more important question is, why does that continue to surprise you?" she asked with a playful smile.

They checked in quickly and headed out in search of food. Mallaig was obviously a fishing port. The town seemed to consist mainly of several large docks, a small commercial area, and homes scattered along the hill surrounding the small harbor. Flocks of gulls flew from one point to another, filling the air with their distinctive calls. The smell of fish permeated the air, but soon fell into the background of their senses.

There were a few restaurants, all of which served mainly seafood. Luke was impressed at the choices and ended up ordering fresh broiled fish, while Lorelai stuck with a trusted favorite: fish and chips. After dinner, they walked around the harbor and up a hill overlooking the docks. Lorelai was amused to see that there seemed to be as much of the town located on the docks over the water as there was on land. Looking past the docks she could see one of the isles and tried to remember its name from the map. While they sat, the ferry from Skye arrived and they watched the orderly unloading and loading of passengers and vehicles.

"You know, this is a great stopover, but I'm glad that I didn't get sent to consult at the inn we're staying at here. I think two months in a fishing port would get old."

"Does the Durham Group have an inn here?"

"Yeah, they own the one we're staying in. That's how I chose it. They didn't have anything on Skye, so I went with a recommendation from Elizabeth, the manager at the Stirling Inn. It sounds nice, and I've talked on the phone with the woman who runs it, but it's a B&B." Her lips tightened into a grim smile.

"So? Does it really make a difference?"

"Of course," Lorelai responded with surprise. "Inns are like a small hotels, but better, more comfortable. B&B's are in people's houses. It's like you're staying with them. You have to make small talk. And they have cheesy decorations and silly activities."

"And you know this because…?"

"I own an inn," she answered matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, so?"

She gave him an indignant look. "So, I know things."

"Have you ever even stayed at a B&B? They're probably not even like that."

"Oh they are," she said knowingly. "Rory and I stayed in one once. It was…cutesy and frilly. I can't even begin to tell you about the wallpaper. And there was tea, and bird-watching." She shook her head. "Trust me, it is not an experience I want to repeat."

Luke looked at her curiously. "When did you ever stay in a B&B? You never even traveled except for that Europe trip."

Lorelai rested her elbows on her knees and picked at a fingernail. "It was…uh…after I called off the wedding," she mumbled.

He shifted next to her. "Oh."

The sudden mention of her broken engagement brought an uncomfortable silence. Luke played with the seam on his jeans and avoided meeting her eyes. When the silence grew unbearable, Lorelai reached for Luke's arm. "Hey, Luke?"

"Yeah?" he asked, eyes still averted.

She lifted her hand to his cheek, waiting until he turned and met her eyes before she slipped her hand down to hold his. "I meant what I said the other night. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to run away."

He took in a deep breath and looked at the ground, kicking a small rock with his toe. Eventually he looked back at her and said softly, "I know that. I know you're not leaving."

Part of Lorelai knew that he meant what he said, but another part of her couldn't help but wonder, if he didn't think she would leave, then why did she see such worry in his face?

* * *

After a pleasant night and a scenic ferry ride, Lorelai directed them toward the western edge of the southern peninsula of the Isle of Skye. "It's supposed to be a beautiful drive, and we have time before we're supposed to get to the B&B," Lorelai had pointed out. Luke had agreed grudgingly, until the road had narrowed.

"Jeez. We're in the middle of nowhere, literally driving through a sheep pasture. So far, I'm not seeing the appeal of this Skye place. And the road is so narrow that even the passing places aren't wide enough for two cars. Where the hell are we going?" Luke ranted as he gestured to the fields around them.

"I told you, the guidebook said-"

"I think maybe I'm ready to throw out the guidebook."

"But then we'd have no idea where we were going. Besides, there are hardly any cars to pass anyway."

"Because we're in the middle of nowhere," he grumped.

Lorelai grinned, enjoying Luke's ranting, "I think it's pretty."

"Well, if I'd known you'd be so impressed by a field of livestock, we could have visited a farm in Connecticut."

A few minutes later, they drove over the crest of a hill and on the other side of a bright blue bay saw reddish colored rocky hills and jagged black peaks. When they got closer to the shoreline, Lorelai asked Luke to pull over and she hopped out, taking in the view as she walked toward the waters edge.

As she heard him walk up behind her, she sighed, "Oh my God Luke, it's such a beautiful view."

"Yes. It is". He spoke the words slowly, in a low, almost reverent tone, which made her turn to look at him. She found him gazing intently, not at the mountains, but at her. She couldn't help blushing, looking down at the sand before turning back to the water. She marveled at the effect his words, or rather, his subtle lack of words had on her. Luke had never been big on compliments and she hadn't expected that to change when they dated. His appreciative looks when she took the time to dress up for him, or the meaningful glances while he stroked her cheek were his typical way of showing his admiration. This kind of expression was rare, and directly stated compliments even rarer. Lorelai wasn't unused to flattery. Max and Jason, and even Christopher to some extent, had showered her with flattery, but it had never elicited this reaction – blushing like a teenager. Perhaps it was that with Luke the rarity made the words more precious, more meaningful. Or maybe it was that, no matter how much attraction there was between them, their feelings ran deeper than physical beauty.

Whatever it was, it was still tingling across her skin when he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She ran her fingers across the back of his hand and wrist, playing with the cuff of his flannel. "Thank you," she whispered, wondering briefly if he would even know what she meant, if he had even meant his words the way she had interpreted them.

"You're welcome," he spoke softly into her ear, giving her a gentle squeeze as he allowed her to lean back against him.

* * *

"Here we are. See, that wasn't so bad. I can read a map," Lorelai said, gesturing to the house as she walked around the car to join Luke.

"I'm just relieved that we're back to two lane roads. That single-track road stuff is-"

Lorelai cut him off with a gentle hand on his arm as a white-haired woman stood from where she'd been weeding the flowerbeds and walked toward them.

"Hello. Are you Ms. MacDonald?"

"Yes, but please call me Mairi. Welcome to Bayview." She started to reach out a hand, then glanced down and wiped them on her apron. "I'm sorry. I've been in the dirt. Forgive me the lack of a proper handshake."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'm Lorelai. Lorelai Gilmore. We spoke on the phone a few times."

"Of course. And this must be your fiancé, Mr. Danes, right?"

Lorelai was pleased to see an almost imperceptible flush at the word fiancé as Luke answered her. "That's right, but call me Luke. It's good to meet you."

"This house is beautiful, and the view…amazing," Lorelai said as she gazed in awe at the surroundings, rolling reddish colored hills in the background and blue water spread out in front of them.

Wrinkles around green eyes crinkled and the older woman smiled as if she'd been given a personal compliment. The friendly businesslike tone shifted to something slightly more familiar. "Isn't it though?" She gave a content sigh, looking around for a moment before catching herself and saying, "But let's get you in and settled. Come on inside."

Lorelai took Luke's hand and they both followed their hostess into the house. She showed them into the dining room, excusing herself to wash her hands before returning to give them keys for their room and the front door, and explain the procedure for breakfast. "These are the breakfast choices," she went on, handing them a piece of paper. "Just leave this for me on the dining table sometime tonight. Now let me show you to your room."

In Stirling, it had taken Lorelai only a short time to get used to the Scottish accent that sounded like a less clipped version of British English. Mairi's accent fell one step more toward brogue, her speech slower and words pronounced with unfamiliar vowel sounds, which gave her voice a lilting quality.

Mairi pointed out the sitting room before leading them quickly up the stairs, down a short hall and into a modest, but tastefully decorated room with an attached bathroom. "There is a pot with fixings for tea – and coffee too, "she added in response to a shared glance between Luke and Lorelai. "Not a tea drinker, then?" she asked Lorelai.

"No, coffee is definitely my caffeine of choice, but Luke drinks tea." She said, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Well, both are there for you, and of course, there will be both coffee and tea at breakfast in the morning. The bathroom should have everything that you need, but if you find anything missing, let me know."

"Thank you. This looks fantastic. It's a beautiful house with a wonderful view."

"Thank you," she said kindly, turning toward the door. "Well you two have a lovely day. I'll see you in the morning for breakfast." Mairi closed the door behind her and her footsteps receded down the hall.

"Wow," Lorelai breathed, plopping down on the bed, "this isn't what I thought it would be like staying in a B&B."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I guess I thought it would be weird to stay in someone else's home – like we'd have to check in or something, let her know when we would be back."

Luke snorted. "You thought there'd be a curfew?"

"Well, no. I guess I'm just glad that we can come and go as we want to and she's not wanting to know all about our plans and everything. She's not too nosy or anything. In fact, she's really nice."

"I don't think she'd be doing very well if she wasn't nice," Luke reasoned.

"I know. I guess this just feels more comfortable than I thought it would be."

"That's good, right?" he asked, resting his hands on her shoulders and running them down her arms to grip her wrists. "So, do you want to head out?"

"Yeah, let me grab a few things and..." She gestured toward the bathroom.

"I'll meet you downstairs."

When Lorelai caught up with Luke, she was surprised to see him out side, talking quietly with Mairi, who was holding the collar of a black lab. "What a beautiful dog!" Lorelai said as she walked toward them

Mairi smiled widely at the compliment. "Thank you. This is Duncan. His sister, Fiona, is around back. Do you have dogs?"

"Oh, no," Lorelai snorted. "No one would trust me to take care of one. But I've always wanted a pet," she added, a little sadly, reaching down to let Duncan sniff her palm before running her hand over his head. "Maybe someday Luke will let me." She turned and gave him a wink, which he returned with a knowing shake of the head.

"Ah, well. It was worth a try."

Luke looked at her and asked, "You ready?"

She nodded, but then turned to Mairi, "I actually have a question, though."

"Of course. What can I do for you?"

"We were planning to drive around the Trotternish peninsula today. Do you think we have time to see everything? We're probably going to grab some lunch first."

"That shouldn't be a problem. The roads are dual carriageway almost the whole way, so it shouldn't take more than a couple hours of driving. Unless you plan on hiking a lot," she paused to scan their dress, "but it doesn't look like you're planning for that."

Lorelai laughed at the observation, "Yeah. Exercise and I don't generally get along." She heard Luke stifle a chuckle and turned to glare at him, only to find him gazing at her with a soft smile.

Mairi glanced between the two of them, watching their interaction with interest before adding, "You'll have plenty of time to see everything and be back before dinner. Have a nice day."

They both thanked her and wished her a nice day before heading out. The B&B was located between Broadford and Portree, two of the larger towns on the Isle of Skye. They stopped to stock up their small cooler in Portree before continuing through town and up to the northern peninsula. After convincing Luke that it would be romantic to have a picnic, Lorelai pulled out the guidebook to find an appropriate location.

The appropriate location turned out to be a picnic table off the side of the road with views of the 'Old Man of Storr,' a rock formation which Lorelai informed him was supposed to be a man who was frozen in stone for the love of his wife.

"What kind of situation would call for someone to be frozen in stone?"

"I don't know, it's not very specific," she said, her brow wrinkled in concentration. "So would you let yourself be frozen in stone for me?" she teased.

"I'm not sure. I'd need to know more about the details of the situation. Maybe we should climb up there and find out more about the story," he offered, with a smirk.

"Yeah right. Besides, the true romantic wouldn't have to 'find out the details.' He'd just do it without question," she said, grinning.

"Hmm. I should have known that agreeing to spend eternity encased in stone wouldn't be enough to convince you to go hiking."

The rest of the afternoon was spent admiring the scenery, which included a variety of rock formations and views across the bay, as well as exploring the Museum of Island Life, which consisted of several small buildings that would have made up part of an early farming community. There appeared to be a rich history around what was called crofting, farming small pieces of land, which were often rented from a large landowner.

Late in the afternoon, they returned to the B&B to get ready for dinner. Lorelai went to the bathroom, taking the time to splash water on her face and brush her hair. She returned to find Luke dressed in a dark grey sweater with black pants, his feet bare on the deep red area rug. He reached for his belt as she entered, but stopped when she called, "Luke? I don't know what the occasion is, but you are looking all kinds of mighty fine right now."

He flushed and looked down briefly before lifting his head and saying sheepishly, "I just wanted to take you out tonight."

"And where, pray tell, are you going to take me?"

"There's a restaurant in Portree that Mairi recommended."

Lorelai gave him a knowing glance, "Ahh, that's what you were talking to her about. I was wondering what made you Mr. Small Talk all of a sudden."

He shrugged. "I figured she'd know a good place."

Lorelai glanced at the bed and picked up the dress lying there, "Is this what I'm wearing? Should I be freaked out that you're picking out my clothes for me?"

"It was the only dress you brought here, so…I didn't mean," he looked somewhat uncomfortable and Lorelai reminded herself how rare it was for him to take her out for a romantic dinner.

"Well, that's a good choice. You like me in that dress, right?"

"I like you in all your dresses," he said quietly.

"Or, out of them?" she asked devilishly.

"Or that," he admitted with a smile.

"Well then, I'm going to make someone very happy tonight," she teased, giving him a saucy grin as she looped her arms around his neck.

"You always do." His eyes met hers, his voice low and serious. "And I don't just mean…"

"I know what you mean," Lorelai said gently, "but if you keep talking like that, I'm going to end up melted into a big puddle of goo on the floor."

"Let's not have that then," the corners of his mouth turning up with a smile as he leaned in to give her a soft kiss.

* * *

Just as she had the last several nights, Lorelai lay in the curve of Luke's arm, her head on his shoulder and her arm across his chest, which rose and fell with his deep breaths of sleep. Usually, this was enough to lull her into slumber, but the tennis match of emotions kept her awake, tracking the score in her make-believe game. It was ridiculous, she thought, that she retained the oddities of tennis scoring from the hated lessons of her youth, but found it difficult to remember her own cell phone number.

Deuce, her brain said, as images flashed.

Luke giving her the engagement ring. Advantage optimism.

Luke convincing her to take the consulting job. Advantage uncertainty.

Luke telling her he missed her. Advantage optimism.

The subtle looks of worry on Luke's face when he didn't think she was looking. Advantage uncertainty.

Luke telling her he loved her. Advantage optimism.

Lorelai shifted slightly, causing Luke to stir and hug her more tightly, muttering something softly and brushing his lips across her brow before settling back to sleep.

Point to optimism…and game. Lorelai dropped off to sleep before her brain could remind her that a game was only the beginning of a tennis match.

_To be continued_

**Author's Note:** Lorelai's quotation from the Glenfinnan Monument 'pamphlet' actually comes from the Undiscovered Scotland website, to which I tried unsuccessfully to link. 


	6. The Road Less Traveled

**Disclaimer: **Still not mine. Still just playing.

**Author's Note: **Loads of praise and gratitude to my amazing betas, **JeSouhaite** and **CineFille**. This story wouldn't be the same without them.

** The Road Less Traveled**

Luke returned to the bedroom from the bathroom, his hair still damp from the shower, and slipped into his boxers and jeans. It hadn't taken him long to adjust to the time difference, and now he was back to being the early riser. He turned to glance at Lorelai who, in the short time he'd been in the shower, had grabbed his pillow and held it as she lay curled on her side. In sleep, she was surprisingly relaxed, the tension gone from her muscles and a small smile on her slightly parted lips. It seemed as though these moments were the only times since he'd arrived that he'd seen her totally relax. Though her eyes had brightened as they put distance between themselves and Stirling, the remnants of uncertainty still hung in the air around her. He thought perhaps it was the distance away from their fight that was helping, but he couldn't be sure.

In any case, it was a relief to see the tension gone now, even if it was only a temporary respite while she slept. He sighed one more time before turning to dig through his bag for a t-shirt and flannel.

Her voice, hoarse with sleep, startled him. "Hey, hot stuff. Whatcha doing way over there and why are you covering up that beautiful body?"

He looked at her wryly. "Wasn't it you who wanted to get an early start today, since it's our only full day on Skye?"

Lorelai's brow wrinkled as she brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes. "Did I say that?"

"Yep."

"And you believed me?"

"Yep."

"Well that was your first mistake."

"And my second?" he teased.

She leaned up on her elbow and gave him a sexy pout. "Leaving me in bed without a good morning kiss."

"Let me see if I can fix that," he said, walking over and leaning down to plant a kiss on her lips.

Eventually, through the strategic use of coffee, Luke urged Lorelai into the shower, and before long they headed downstairs for breakfast. Five other people sat in the dining room, engaged in polite conversation. Lorelai introduced herself and Luke to the other guests as they took seats at the table.

Upon hearing them, Mairi bustled in to take their orders, chuckling when they both made a point of turning down the black pudding. "Would you like another sausage or piece of bacon instead?"

Lorelai pondered, "For me yes, but Luke probably won't…" She glanced at him and he gave her a knowing smile. "You know, on second thought, just give me his sausage and bacon and give him my tomatoes and mushrooms."

Mairi looked to Luke for his approval, and when he nodded she turned and headed back to the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with their food.

Though the menu varied little from the breakfasts of the previous few days, Luke enjoyed the food, finding it lighter and fresher than expected. The bread tasted homemade and Mairi brought out fruit salad that was a welcome addition to the meal. Lorelai shared sightseeing stories with the other guests, an elderly couple and a group of three twenty-somethings, occasionally managing to pull Luke into the conversation.

He and Lorelai lingered a bit after the others left, talking about their plans for the day while she finished her coffee. When Mairi came out to clear some of their dishes, Lorelai spoke up. "Luke told me you recommended the restaurant we went to last night. It was wonderful. Thank you."

"You're very welcome. Did you enjoy your drive around Trotternish yesterday?"

"It was great, very scenic. We spent a long time at the museum. The history of the island is fascinating, especially the stories about the farmers, or…crofters, right?" Mairi gave a small nod and Lorelai asked, "Have you lived here long?"

"I've lived here all my life," Mairi answered proudly. "My family's been on Skye since before the Highland Clearances, when the clans were broken up and landowners brought in sheep and evicted most of the crofters."

"Wow," said Lorelai, clearly impressed. "So your family was around during the uprisings. Were they crofters too?"

"My grandfather came from a long line of crofters. When I was younger, he would tell my brother and I stories about the rebellions that led to the Small Landholders Act. So many of his friends had given up and left for the cities or America, but he refused to leave. We don't do any farming anymore, but this B&B is the croft house his family grew up in." A glint of fierceness shone in her eyes as she spoke and gave Luke a hint of her strength and independence.

Though Luke couldn't trace his family history as far back as Mairi, he felt the same connection to place that he could sense from her. The love that she clearly had for Skye echoed his for Stars Hollow.

Before he or Lorelai could ask her more, however, she brushed them off, saying, "But you didn't come here to listen to my memories. Have you decided what you're going to do today?"

Lorelai answered by listing some of the sights they'd seen in the guidebook. "We were thinking of going out to the western edge of the island to the sea cliffs and maybe to the castle, if that's worth a visit. Anything else we shouldn't miss while we're there?"

"The sea cliffs are certainly worth seeing. Make sure you go to Neist Head and see the lighthouse. Dunvegan Castle is a pretty location with nice gardens, but it's a bit more of a museum for those fascinated by seeing a lock of the Bonnie Prince's hair or the fairy flag. Pure silliness, some of it," she scoffed.

"Hmm," Lorelai mused, "sounds a bit like the Stars Hollow History Museum." She winked at Luke.

Seeing Mairi's raised eyebrow, he felt the need to explain, "The town where we live had a museum with a lot of questionable 'artifacts.' The museum wasn't open very long."

An amused smile played across Lorelai's lips, but thankfully she didn't provide any more detail about what had happened to the museum.

After a glance between the two of them, Mairi went on, "If you're at all interested in whiskey, there's a distillery out that way that gives tours."

"Oh, whiskey. That would give me something to talk to my father about," Lorelai said quickly, then frowned and continued, "On second thought, let's not go to the distillery."

Lorelai seemed to have taken herself by surprise with the mention of her father, so Luke jumped in, "It sounds like we have plenty to do. There's so much to see here."

Lorelai looked up at the sound of his voice, "Yeah, this whole island is so beautiful. It's too bad we have to leave tomorrow. I feel like there's so much we haven't seen."

Mairi looked at them, seemingly touched by Lorelai's awe of the island. "Well," she started, "I do have another suggestion, if you're interested. It's in the other direction, but you could easily drive down there after dinner." At Lorelai's nod of interest, she continued, "You mentioned you drove around the western coast of the Sleat peninsula yesterday. If you enjoyed that, there's another beautiful drive with views of the Cuillin Hills."

"Sounds romantic," Lorelai said, glancing at Luke before turning back to Mairi to get directions and another recommendation for dinner.

As Luke watched the two women interact, he found himself both surprised and yet not surprised at the way Lorelai had slipped into such an easy rapport with Mairi, even though they had only spoken a few times on the phone and had a couple of conversations the previous day. He had always been impressed by the apparent ease with which she dealt with people and knew that most people assumed that she was naturally outgoing. That had, in fact, been his impression for a long time after first meeting her. In getting to know her, he began to realize that her talent with people was not a natural tendency, but a set of learned skills, though whether they were learned out of the necessity of raising a child alone or perfected in the social events of her youth, he didn't know. It was only through becoming Lorelai's friend that he started to understand how much her outward persona hid her inner insecurities. There were very few people, Rory, Sookie and himself, with whom she truly let down her guard, so this kind of comfort with a new acquaintance was unusual. Watching them, though, it looked as though Lorelai had found a kindred spirit. In Mairi, he could see glimmers of Lorelai's future self, a strong and independent woman, who through the wisdom of age had grown more grounded.

They set out soon after, making the castle their first stop. Lorelai had reasoned that it was on the way to the sea cliffs and that it might be amusing. They chuckled over various bits of memorabilia from the famous prince and examined the many portraits that made up parts of the family tree of Clan MacLeod. After wandering the gardens and snapping some pictures of the castle, they continued west.

Predictably, the roads beyond Dunvegan narrowed and Luke again found himself negotiating single-track roads with passing places, though with experience they felt less an annoying challenge and more like a game. And once he saw the cliffs at Waterstein Head, towering almost 1000 feet above the bay below, he agreed that it had been worth the drive. Luke knew the scenery had awed Lorelai when she agreed not only to walk to the summit of the sea cliffs, but also down to the lighthouse at Neist Point. From the western-most point on the island, the views of the Outer Hebrides islands and the cliffs across the bay were spectacular, and Lorelai watched, mesmerized. That she could be struck speechless by something as simple as waves crashing against a sheer rock face both amused and amazed him. He loved seeing this side of her, however briefly, and was reminded yet again how much more of her he got to see, how much she allowed him to see.

After a leisurely drive back across the island, they found the restaurant that Mairi had recommended in Broadford. She had warned that it was more casual than the previous recommendation and Lorelai had assured her that the chance of getting Luke to dress up two nights in a row was slim. He started to protest until she suggested that he prove her wrong and he admitted that casual did sound good.

The restaurant turned out to be a no-frills seafood place with fresh food that was as delicious as it was simple. As they chatted idly about the day, Lorelai gave him lazy smiles, exuding an air of calm that was as contagious as it was unusual. Watching her slightly drooping shoulders and weary eyes, however, Luke realized that her quiet acceptance was not due to contentment but rather because she welcomed a reprieve. Whether it was a reprieve from her worries about the inn or from the tension of their fight, he couldn't be sure, but it was like the tired relief that follows a storm - as if she was grateful to have survived an earthquake but wary of the aftershocks.

They finished eating quickly and set out following the directions from Mairi. At first the road wound through endless pastures, but soon they drew closer to the reddish rounded hills. As they followed the shore around a finger of water and approached a set of dark jagged peaks, Luke understood for the first time the distinction between the Red Cuillin hills and the Black Cuillin Hills. Lorelai called for a few photo stops before they moved away from the water again to cross to the other side of a small peninsula. The road wound down a steep hill, passing a few scattered houses and ending in a stretch of rocky beach which circled a small bay. Several silent fishing boats bobbed slowly in their moorings. As obvious as it was that the tiny port was abandoned for the night it was also just as obvious that it was an active port. Traps for shellfish of some sort lay waiting on the pier, and an undeniably fishy odor filled the air.

Across the bay, through a light fog, the Black Cuillin Hills jutted up sharply. It took Luke a few minutes to adjust to the stillness of the place. It was hard to know if you could even call it a town, as there were so few houses and no obvious businesses and at this time of day, no one else around at all. Even Lorelai seemed to be affected by the mood of the place, saying nothing at all for several minutes. When she did speak, she did so in a whisper, as if worried she would disturb someone.

She pulled him along the beach, gingerly stepping across the rocks and over pools and rivulets of water. They reached the far end of the beach and stepped up onto a huge stone ledge marked by deep striations caused by years of erosion. This end of the beach provided a slightly closer view of the hills across the bay and Lorelai continued around the curve of the beach, looking for the perfect place to take a picture.

"Oh my god, Luke. Look at that!"

"What?"

It's an old house. The ruins of an old house." Tucked into a corner of the shoreline lay a rectangular stone wall, with an obvious opening for a door and a few divisions within. Though the wall only stood a few feet tall, it was clear that it had once been a small house.

"Hey. What a surprise: there are sheep," he said wryly, pointing at the two plump animals on the far side of the house.

Lorelai looked around their surroundings wistfully. "Wow, can you imagine living here? This has got to be one of the remotest corners of this island, and then stuck back here where you can hardly find it, there's a house. It's hard to imagine, although…" she sighed softly, "there's something appealing about being away from life and stress, holed up in a tiny corner of the world with the one you love." The melancholy sound of her voice caused Luke to look at her with a touch of concern.

"Is it that bad?" he asked softly.

"No," she started, attempting to brush it off, but then looked down and toyed with the ring on her finger. "I just don't think I'm really good at this."

"At what?"

"This consulting thing. Sure I can run an inn in Stars Hollow, but what do I know about Scotland? I mean, I thought I would try it and if it worked out, fine, otherwise if it wasn't my thing, then no big deal. So even though it's been discouraging sometimes, I've been telling myself it's okay because it's just a trial thing." She paused, looking up at him for a moment, her face revealing nothing about where her train of thought was headed. Luke gave a small nod, and she continued, "But, see, the thing is that I can't just let it go. There's a part of me that-"

"Likes it," he finished for her, the words falling heavily as a sinking sensation took hold in his gut.

She shrugged, "Maybe that's it. I just… I really don't want to suck at this. They brought me here, trusted me. I don't want to let them down. No one's ever given me an opportunity like this, given me a chance to show…" her voice trailed off as she bit her lip, a flash of pain appearing in her eyes as she chose her words, "everyone…what I can do. And then us…we got this great trip out of it. And so, as much as part of me wants to go home and not let myself get down about it, part of me wants to be able to do this."

"You can," he muttered under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, you were about to say something."

"Well…" he hesitated.

"You're worried I'm going to bite your head off again." She lifted her eyes to his, her head tilted downward and her expression sheepish. "It's okay. Just say it."

"You can do this, Lorelai. I've seen you do this. The first thing that I saw when I got here was you dealing with an impossible situation."

"But…"

"But what? Talk to me."

"I just…we're doing everything right. They're doing everything right. Anne is an amazing chef, the meals are incredible, they've got all the appropriate little touches. It seems like everything is perfect, but there's something missing. I can feel it, but I can't put my finger on it. I'm supposed to make recommendations before I leave, and I'm at a loss, because I have no idea what they can do to increase occupancy."

Luke could hear her frustration, but held back his supportive words, reaching instead for Lorelai's hands and running his thumbs across the backs of her fingers.

She let out a quiet chuckle, "I guess you're still a little afraid to talk, huh?" she said, a small smile on her lips for a moment before she sighed and continued, "I just wish I could figure it out. The B&B we're staying at? Bayview. I feel it there. Whatever it is we're missing in Stirling, it's there. I don't know. It feels like home, even if you've never been there, and Mairi makes you love this whole island. And she knows us – how did she know to send us here? It's beautiful, and we would have never come here. And the restaurants, everything. She just knows everything and knew exactly what we would want to do. It makes you want to come back and I don't feel that at all in Stirling." She looked over to see Luke grinning at her. "What?"

"That's you. At the Dragonfly. In Stars Hollow. That's you."

"What do you mean?"

"You know which guests want to go antiquing and which ones want to go for a nature walk. And when they ask for a restaurant recommendation, you know where to send them. You love Stars Hollow, and you make everyone else love it too." Luke's words seemed to take Lorelai by surprise and she looked flustered hearing the praise.

"There's more to it than that," she protested.

"Of course there is, and the good food and the beautiful setting make people come to the Dragonfly, but the personality that it has, the personality you've given it, is what makes people come back." He gave her hands a squeeze, in an unsuccessful attempt to get her to look at him.

She kept looking down, taking a few deep breaths before speaking, the joking tone not fully covering the shakiness in her voice. From her reaction, it was suddenly painfully obvious how little genuine praise Lorelai got for her work. "So, what the inn needs is a personality? Huh. So maybe I should hire Conan O'Brian to run it. Is that it?"

"Yeah, something like that," he said, going along with her attempt to lighten the mood.

"Now the only thing I don't get is, if you've figured that out why aren't you the one running the inn?"

"I didn't figure it out, you did. You just needed help putting it into words."

"Don't be so quick to give the credit away. We make a good team."

"Well I won't argue with that," Luke said, as he brought her hands together and held them with one hand, reaching to pull her toward him with the other. After a long, slow, sweet kiss, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close, her head resting against his shoulder and her arms tight around his waist.

After a long moment, Lorelai pulled back a bit so that she could look at him. "We should stay and watch the sunset."

"You do know that the sun doesn't set here for another two hours?"

"You think we can't keep each other company for two hours?"

"Of course we can. I'm just not sure that this is the most comfortable place to spend that two hours."

In spite of his protests, she pulled him down next to her and they sat, leaning against a rock, watching the waves spill around the rocks lining the beach. Lorelai curled herself against his body, quiet except for the sound of her breathing. When she let out a long, exhausted sigh, Luke decided he couldn't let it go. "This is about more than just the inn. Is it me? Is it about Rory? Are you…angry?"

She flinched and lifted her head to look at him, a bit of annoyance in her expression. Worried he had crossed a line, he backpedaled, "I'm sorry. Forget it." She didn't respond, just tucked herself once again into the curve of his arm as they both watched the tranquil bay.

Minutes later, she spoke softly, her words breaking the stillness. "I'm not mad at you, Luke. About Rory." She took a breath and let it out slowly. "I think that I might be jealous, but I'm not mad."

"Jealous?" he asked, wondering if he'd heard right.

"She came to you instead of me," she said sadly.

"And that bothers you."

She reached over and started playing with the button on the cuff of his shirt. "It shouldn't."

"But it does."

He could feel the small shakes of her head against his chest, and when she spoke her words were determined. "I want to be the one, but if she can't talk to me…she should be able to talk to you." Her fingers brushed his wrist and slid down to entwine with his. "She trusts you. You care about her. I want her to have that. I want _you _to have that." He could hear the firmness in her words and he couldn't tell which of them she was trying to convince. "Hell Luke, we're going to be a family."

"Yeah, we are." The words felt weighty as he said them. He'd been picturing their family of the future, in the hazy images of his hopeful brain, but all along she'd had a family and was bringing him into it.

"I mean, we're getting married." Lorelai said dreamily, oblivious to the momentousness of his thoughts.

"I heard a rumor about that," he teased, and felt her chuckle against his neck.

"Luke, did you ever think we'd be here?" she asked wistfully.

"Did I ever think we'd be across the ocean, sitting on a rock, miles from the nearest coffee?"

She pulled her hand from his to give him gentle slap on the shoulder. "That's not what I–"

"I know what you meant." He spoke quietly, and then let out a sigh. "I've thought about it," he admitted slowly, "since we've been back together." She nodded into his shoulder, and he took a breath before asking, "What about you? I mean…I guess you must have, since you asked and all, but…" He cringed at the way he was stammering.

"The shelf."

"What?"

"Since you put up that shelf for me. That's when I saw it." Her voice was soft, slightly pained with the memory of old hurt.

"Lorelai…" he questioned gently, concern barely concealing the awe in his voice.

"Its okay," she reassured, tapping his chest with her fingers. "We're here now. I just…we've done about a month's worth of this talking stuff, can we just leave it there?"

"Sure." He held her hand against his heart and long moments passed as waves lapped the shore and the boats bobbed gently.

"So Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"How long 'til sunset now?"

"About an hour and forty minutes."

She sighed, "You know, I was all down with the patiently waiting until you mentioned coffee."

* * *

The next morning dawned gray, and from what Luke understood about Scotland, they'd been lucky to have had pleasant weather as long as they had. Lack of a bright sunrise had kept them in bed longer than usual, but knowing there was a long drive back to Stirling ahead, Luke had reluctantly persuaded them both out of bed. After they showered and dressed, Lorelai busied herself gathering their belongings while Luke looked over the map. As she packed, Lorelai spoke wistfully about leaving Skye. He wasn't sure which one of them was more surprised at how much she'd enjoyed this island that lay off the coast of a country she'd never considered visiting. 

After they'd finished their breakfast and sat planning their route back to Stirling, Mairi came out to take their plates, saying, "You're going back to Stirling today? I hope you've enjoyed your visit. It's been such a pleasure meeting you."

Lorelai gave her a genuine smile, "We've had such a wonderful time on Skye. It's making me wish we didn't have to get back quite so soon. I'm going to miss being here. And your B&B has been a beautiful place to stay. I'll have to thank Elizabeth for the recommendation."

Mairi's face softened at the mention of the other woman. "She's so kind to keep referring people to me. You know, for years she worked at a hotel in Edinburgh. I knew that she took a job managing a place in Stirling recently. The Stirling Inn, isn't it? Have you been staying there?"

"Actually, I'm consulting for the inn. I've been there about a month now. I'm just taking a few days off while Luke is visiting." As she said his name, she glanced over and gave him a small smile.

"Consulting? So you're in the hotel business?"

"Not hotels, really. I own an inn in the States. In Connecticut, where we live. The consulting job is temporary, just for two months. I've enjoyed working with everyone there. Have you known Elizabeth long?"

"Oh yes. We grew up together here on Skye." She smiled at the memory, her expression growing serious as she added, "And her brother and I…well, I quite fancied him. We were going to be married, but I broke it off. She's never completely forgiven me, though we're still friendly."

Lorelai's face fell. "I'm so sorry. What happened?" she asked before catching herself, "Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be asking about your personal life."

"Don't worry yourself about that." Mairi waved off Lorelai's concern before her face turned thoughtful again. "Thomas just wanted bigger and better things than this place. He had an opportunity he couldn't turn down in Edinburgh, but I couldn't bring myself to leave Skye."

"That's so sad. I'm sorry you couldn't work it out." The distressed look on Lorelai's face seemed to be about more than sympathy for a recent acquaintance.

"Aah well, that's in the past," she said airily, gesturing away the thought. "It's just as well. I couldn't ever put up with having to organize myself around other people anyway."

Lorelai didn't seem quite as able to brush off the emotions of the story and her eyes were still sad when Mairi went on.

"But what am I doing going on about me. I hope that you enjoy the rest of your trip. Have you figured out how to get back to Stirling?"

Lorelai recovered and replied. "We were planning to go back over the Skye bridge and to stop at Eilan Donan Castle on the way. We haven't come up with anything more specific than that. If you have any suggestions, we'd take them. Everything else you've suggested has been wonderful."

"You seem to enjoy some of the more unique and out of the way places."

Lorelai looked surprised at this revelation. "I hadn't thought about that. I guess that's true," she said thoughtfully.

Relieved to have left the topic of Mairi's love life, Luke spoke up. "Judging by the number of single-track roads we've been on, then yes, she's exactly right," he said with a small grin.

Lorelai smiled back at him, "And you're getting so good at them." Turning back to Mairi, she asked, "But you had a suggestion?"

"There's a small ferry. Before they built the Skye bridge, it was the main way to get across from that part of the island." Mairi gave them a friendly wink. "It's a bit more authentic."

"That sounds perfect. Thank you for the suggestion. Well, I guess we should get our things and get on the road so we don't have to rush."

"Of course. You just leave the keys when you go and have a pleasant drive."

A few minutes later, with the bags in the car, Lorelai gazed at the mist topped mountains and out into the bay before taking her seat in the car. Their route took them along the bay for a while before they headed east and split off toward the ferry. Luke was unsurprised to find himself on yet another single-track road and just smiled when Lorelai joked about how much he was going to miss them.

They finally reached the eastern edge of Skye and followed the sign for the ferry. Luke looked around when they drove down to the water, puzzled when he didn't see anyone, or even anything that looked like a place to buy ferry tickets. "Uh, Lorelai. Are you sure that this is where we're supposed to be?"

"I followed the directions, and you saw the signs too. This is where they sent us."

"Then what if the ferry isn't operating today? It'd be a long drive back to the turnoff for the bridge. I thought that thing about not having a schedule sounded kind of strange."

"Mairi said they operated every day in the summer. Come on. Let's just get out and look around." She opened the door and stood, gazing over the water at the mainland. "Hey Luke! There it is. It's right across the water there. See, they're loading some cars up now."

"That? That's the ferry? They carry cars on that?" The boat didn't look to be any bigger than a small sightseeing boat. It didn't look like it should hold one car, much less multiple vehicles. The cars loaded, the ferry headed toward them and he could see that it held several cars, which pulled off and headed up the road when the ferry stopped near them and one of the men tied it up and flipped down a metal ramp. He then gestured to Luke, and with a reluctant sigh, Luke drove up onto the boat and paid the man.

Lorelai's teasing started as soon as he sat back down in the driver's seat. "Aww, you seem nervous. Come on, it's a cute little ferry and it's only supposed to be about a five minute crossing."

"I am not nervous," Luke grumbled. "This just seems like the kind of operation that would happen if Kirk and TJ ever got together. No schedule, no tickets, just two guys and a boat."

As short as the ride was, Luke still felt relieved when they drove off the small flat boat onto the mainland. Lorelai smiled at him and rested her hand on his knee. "See, not so bad. And I'm glad Mairi recommended it. That was much more quaint than a bridge."

"Quaint," he snorted. "Not the word I would choose."

"Well, Mairi was right. I liked it," Lorelai said with a grin. Her expression turned thoughtful and she asked, "Hey Luke, isn't it sad?"

"What?" As well as he knew her talent for segues, she still managed to trip him up now and then.

"What Mairi said. About the guy she was going to marry. It seems like such a shame that they couldn't figure out a way to be together. She looked like she really loved him."

Luke couldn't deny the sadness he'd seen in Mairi's eyes as she told the story, but having also seen how connected she was to her home, he couldn't imagine her leaving Skye. "Sometimes people just don't want the same things," he said slowly.

"But if you love someone, you don't just give up like that. You work it out. You compromise. You figure out a way to make it work," she insisted, her voice quiet but agitated.

"We don't know all the details. Maybe they tried and they couldn't find a solution."

She looked at him uncertainly then, her brow wrinkled and a slight frown on her face. After a long moment, she shrugged and said unconvincingly, "Maybe."

The conversation had made Lorelai pensive and she sat quietly, gazing out the window. After a few minutes, she picked up the travel guide and flipped pages slowly, eventually stopping to read. It had been long enough since she spoke that her voice surprised him. "Hey."

"What?"

"This castle that we're going to. They filmed some of _Highlander_ there."

"Now that one I've seen," he said, smiling and lowering his voice, "There can be only one."

"Luke Danes, did you just quote a movie?"

"Looks like."

"So you've seen _Highlander_. Maybe you are a guy after all." She grins. "Well, there's another one we can add it to our movie marathon. And weren't there a bunch of _Highlander_ movies? And a series?"

"Oh please, not the series. The series violated the whole premise of the movie. He was the only one. He got the prize, and then someone decided they wanted to make it a TV series and then suddenly, there were more. It was just wrong. And don't even get me started on _Highlander II_…"

He looked over to see her smiling at him with that half-mocking, half-content smile that she wore whenever she thought that he was being particularly Luke-like. He continued his rant, enjoying not only the opportunity to vent but also the return of Lorelai's smile. As they neared their destination, her mood improved even further.

Situated on a tiny island in the still waters of a loch and surrounded by mountain peaks, the castle and the bridge connecting it to land were as beautiful from the outside as promised. The tour of the interior, though, hardly seemed worth the admission price and Luke thought that he could go for a long time without seeing another recreated kitchen scene.

The rest of the drive back to Stirling was filled with their typical easy banter. The discussion the previous night seemed to have buoyed Lorelai's spirit and she spent much of the drive home prattling on about both serious and silly ideas for bringing personality to 'her' inn. She laughed and teased, her eyes bright as her dark curls bounced off her cheeks. It cheered Luke to see the return of the confident wonder woman who had been mysteriously absent for most of his visit. As reassuring as it was to see her almost whole again, though, he tried to imagine how the consulting could or would fit into their lives. He wondered what would be worse: Lorelai gone for months at a time pursuing her dream job, or her giving up the chance of a lifetime to stay in Stars Hollow.

_To be continued_


	7. In Search of Personality

**Disclaimer:** Still not mine.

**Author's Note: **More mad props to my amazing betas, **JeSouhaite** and **Cinefille**.

* * *

"How is it possible that none of them are from here?" Lorelai asked Luke in amazement as they set out to explore Stirling the morning after their return from the Isle of Skye. 

"Didn't you say that Anne grew up here?"

"Well, yeah, but she's the chef. She never meets the guests. But the rest of them – college kids, recent transplants. Even Elizabeth has been living in Edinburgh and only recently moved here when The Durham Group hired her to manage this inn. How are we supposed to show guests the heart and soul of Stirling if none of our employees know anything about it?" Luke shrugged and Lorelai went on, "Well, at least we can go find it."

"Find what?"

"The soul of Stirling."

And so they had, or at least they tried to, Lorelai leading Luke up and down the cobbled, winding streets. They examined restaurant menus, popped into shops and bakeries, and walked the scenic route along the outside of the old city wall. She knew she was in overdrive, trying to leverage the brainstorm of ideas that had resulted from her conversation with Luke on the Isle of Skye into something she could call a success at the Stirling Inn. She had thought she would dread returning to Stirling, so relieved had she been to leave. But her spirits were buoyed and she found herself excited to resume her work, her enthusiasm tempered only by the knowledge that Luke was leaving the following day. A pang of sadness hit her again and she turned to him, seeing that same expression he'd worn all day, a smile both amused and pensive.

"So, what's next?" he asked, and she smiled in wonder at his patience. She'd found it ironic that one thing that she needed to do to help the inn was leave the inn, but she'd spent so much time working she didn't even really explore the town. She'd been saving her sightseeing for Luke's visit, so beyond walking up the hill to the castle, she'd seen very little of Stirling itself. Today had been about making up for that, and Luke had played the role of dutiful fiancé to the hilt.

"Are you sure you don't want to do something else?" she asked him yet again, feeling a little guilty for drawing him into her personal agenda.

"This is helping you, right?"

"I guess."

"Then, let's keep going," he said, resting a hand on her shoulder and looking down the street, "Besides…it's nice to see you smiling."

The concern in his voice tugged at her heart, and she turned to face him, resting her hand on his chest. "I'm sorry I haven't been much fun this week. And you've just been your amazing wonderful self the whole time."

He gave a small shake of his head, brushing off her praise, "You have a lot on your mind. That's understandable. And don't think I'm not having a good time. I wouldn't trade this trip…being here with you...it's been amazing." He reached up to hold her hand against his chest, running his thumb back and forth across her palm, his eyes holding hers intently. She thought that if they hadn't been on a busy sidewalk, he might have leaned in and kissed her then. As it was, he squeezed her hand and smiled, signaling the end of the serious moment. "So…moving on then?"

Lorelai just nodded wordlessly and steered them toward yet another of the several little shops she had dragged him into in her quest for good coffee.

A few minutes later, after purchasing her a cup of coffee and giving into a cup of tea for himself, they left the shop and he asked teasingly, "Do you really think that the soul of Stirling is going to be found in a coffee cup?"

"Certainly not here," she said, grimacing as she took a sip before dumping the almost full cup into a nearby garbage can. At his dismayed look, she justified, "That was awful. I just want to make sure that I can recommend a place to get a good cup of coffee and so far the best recommendation I can make is to hop a plane to Stars Hollow. I thought the coffee at the inn was barely passable, not that I've ever told Anne that, but that stuff…" she gestured toward the shop they'd just left, "that was awful."

"You do realize that most people here drink tea, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, the search for amazing coffee might not be the most productive use of your time."

"Searching for good coffee is always a productive use of time," she protested, "but maybe you're right. You know, I haven't really done any souvenir shopping yet, and I'm going to need some gifts to bring home."

At that, Luke just rolled his eyes, but nonetheless followed her as she headed down the street to a gift shop.

Later, after a few more hours of walking and a stop for dinner at Lorelai's favorite pub, they walked into her room, where she let out a deep sigh and dropped her bags onto the floor. "Wow, I'm tired. We must have walked like ten miles today."

"It wasn't my idea to visit every coffee shop in the town and then go souvenir shopping."

"But look at all the stuff. I've got all my gifts taken care of, so it was worth it. I'm just annoyed that there is no tartan for Danes. I really wanted to get you a kilt."

"Which would have been ridiculous, since there's no chance I would _ever_ wear a kilt."

Lorelai grinned, teasing, "At least I found you some nice tartan boxers. And you can't say you won't wear those, since they're not that different than what you have already. They just have fun names – Stewart, MacDonald, Cameron…"

"I'll wear them as long as you don't talk to them," he relented gruffly.

"You're no fun," Lorelai said, giving him a pouty smile as she put her hands on his chest and leaned into him. The contact relaxed her and she slipped her arms around his waist, holding tightly as she let out a long sigh and rested her head against his shoulder. "God, I'm tired."

Luke reached a hand up and pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. "I hope you're not too tired," he said softly.

"Why? Did you have some plans I didn't know about?" At his pointed look, she teased, "Oh, you want to have sex-"

He groaned at her directness. "Lorelai."

"Okay, I guess we don't have to," she said, pulling away and pretending to look around the room. "We never did finish watching the Holy Grail…or the inn has some games downstairs. It's a sad collection, but I think there's a few decent ones, or there's always TV-"

"Lorelai," he said with a low growl.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"Shut up," he said, stepping toward her and resting his hands on her hips.

"Make me."

When his lips found hers, they were surprisingly gentle, and she returned his kiss with equal tenderness. She pulled back a moment later, "So, it was the sex you wanted after all?" He just shook his head and pulled her lips to his again.

In between kisses, she kept up her playful banter, and though Luke tried to act exasperated, she could see the smile tugging at his lips and hear his stifled chuckles. She knew that much of the week she'd been wounded and needy and she wanted him to know how much he'd healed her. So in spite of her teasing words, she let him take the lead, felt his fingers trace across her curves and his lips send shivers down her spine. She returned his caresses, smiling against his skin.

They took time with each other in a way they hadn't in a long time, as if by stretching their time together they could put off Luke's departure. Their lovemaking was a fluid give and take, full of attention and devoid of hesitation. It lacked the frenzy of earlier in the trip, but more than made up for it with the gentle, sensual touches and whispers of affection. Throughout it all there ran a thread of silliness and fun as Lorelai felt herself relax for the first time in weeks.

Afterwards, he lay on his back, she curled up against him while he traced patterns up and down her fingers and around her palm. He looked as content as Lorelai felt, so much so that she was reluctant to interrupt the quiet moment. But the quiet felt heavy, a good heavy, but heavy nonetheless and it overwhelmed her a bit.

She leaned up on her arm and looked at him, grinning. "Well, I have to say, buddy, you sure know how to please your woman."

She thought she saw him blush slightly, but in the dim light, it was hard to tell. "You're no slouch yourself. So, what happened? I thought you were exhausted."

"Maybe the coffee is catching up to me."

"You drank that coffee hours ago."

Well," she hesitated, "maybe I just don't want to sleep."

"Why?" he asked, though it sounded like he knew already.

"When we wake up you're going to have to go home," she said sadly.

"I know," he answered softly, looking up at her and running his finger along her cheek and down to her chin. "But you'll be home in a few weeks."

"A few weeks that we have to be apart," she complained. "I've had enough of that nonsense. When I get home, you're not going to be able to get rid of me. I'm staying with you every night." She surprised herself with the strength of her announcement almost as much as he surprised her with his soft reply.

"Or maybe I'll stay with you every night." His words sounded just a little bit like a question.

Lorelai rolled so that she could lean on his chest and look him in the eye. "Why don't you do that," she said softly, giving him a small smile. "It's a more logical long-term choice, anyway."

His eyes widened a bit and his lips curved up at the corners as he processed her statement. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead, whispering, "Okay then."

* * *

Daylight came too quickly, in spite of the fact that Lorelai had kept Luke up talking until late in the night. They discussed which of the crazy Stars Hollow festivals would happen while Lorelai was away, and she made him promise to fill her in on any happenings. He made her promise to keep in touch with Rory, to which she had reluctantly agreed. 

The morning was a blur of activity and all too soon, Lorelai found herself in the parking lot next to Luke's rental car, sharing a few tender kisses before he got in and drove away. The amused Luke who had countered her banter jab for jab the previous night was gone and she was left with the quiet one who accepted her sweet kisses stoically. When she said she wished she could go home with him, he reminded her about her mission to bring personality to the Stirling Inn in a tone that brought a small smile to her lips. She resisted the urge to throw her arms around him and beg him to stay, because while last night's Luke would have responded with a joke to lighten the mood, this Luke seemed unprepared to deal with an emotional parting. She watched him pull away, smiling and waving as he looked back at her before turning out of the parking lot, and then she followed his car with her eyes for a few brief moments before it disappeared around a corner.

After watching the street for a few more moments, she turned and entered the inn, heading straight for her desk, eager to get to work, if only to make the time pass more quickly. Periodically, she checked her watch, mentally subtracting the five-hour time difference. Before leaving, Luke had made her promise one more time to call Rory and she knew that she needed to call today before she lost her nerve and started putting it off. She spent the morning immersed in work that had piled up during the trip to Skye and didn't notice how much time had passed until she heard dishes clanging in the kitchen, signaling the start of lunch. Before she could talk herself out of it, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed.

Rory answered tentatively after a few rings, "Mom?"

"Yeah, it's me. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. How about you? How's the inn?"

"I'm good. The inn's good. How about the daycare center?"

"It's good. I'm learning a lot." The small talk was painful. Lorelai couldn't remember it ever being this difficult to talk to her daughter. After a pause, Rory continued, "So, how's Luke? Have you had a good visit?"

With a pang of loneliness, Lorelai answered, "We had a great visit, but he went home this morning."

"I'm glad you had fun. It's great that he could come visit you," Rory said, a touch wistfully.

"We did have a great time. We went out to the Isle of Skye for a couple of days." Listening to herself, Lorelai knew that she couldn't take the small talk much longer. "Hey, do you think that you're going to keep going to the dinners with Luke?"

"Why? Do you not want me to?" Rory asked, a little bitterly.

Stung, Lorelai responded defensively, "That's not what I meant at all. I just…you should keep going. I mean, if you want to."

"I do want to," she answered, her voice confused, "but why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you all of a sudden telling me I should go when you were so upset last week?"

Lorelai could hear the angry frustration in Rory's voice and she almost gave up, almost suggested that they try again another day, but instead she took a deep breath and went on. "Whatever is going on with us, and however long it takes us to fix it, you don't need my permission to talk to Luke. And you should…I mean…have a relationship with Luke. He's going to be…well, we're getting married, so he's going to be…"

"My stepfather."

"Yeah," Lorelai breathed, surprised at how strange it felt to hear the word. As much as she wanted to pull Luke into her family, putting a name on the role made her a little conflicted. There was a part of her that felt a little strange about Luke and Rory having a relationship separate from her. Rory had been the center of her life for so long, and no matter how close Rory ever got to her grandparents or her father, she had always felt like the center of Rory's life. Watching her build another relationship, have a new person to lean on, hurt. Though she knew it was a necessary step in letting her child grow up, she still wasn't quite sure she was ready for it. Realizing that Rory seemed to be waiting for her to say more, she added brightly, "And he won't ever admit it, but I think he's really looking forward to seeing you again."

"Good. Maybe I'll stop by tomorrow night." The topic of Luke seemingly exhausted, the conversation stalled again. "Well…uh, I should get going I guess."

"Oh, sure. You've got to get your day started. I don't want to keep you."

"You're not keeping me. I'm glad you called, Mom," Rory said sincerely.

"Yeah? Good. I'll give you a call in a few days, okay?"

"That sounds great. Bye, Mom."

"Bye…Hey, Rory?"

"Yeah?"

"I've seen lots of stuff here that you'd like. I'll have pictures to show you when I get home. I mean, if you want." It felt like a last desperate attempt at something resembling a connection to her daughter, but it seemed to work.

"I'd like that," she responded warmly. "I want to hear all about it."

"Good. Well, in a few weeks then."

"Yeah, I'll see you then. Bye Mom."

"Bye Rory."

Lorelai hung up, holding her phone loosely while replaying the conversation in her head, wondering if it was always going to be that difficult to talk to her daughter.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, if slowly, and Lorelai was relieved to crawl into bed at the end of it. As she snuggled under her sheets, she had to remind herself not to reach for her phone, knowing Luke would not arrive home for several hours.

In spite of being exhausted by a full day of work and the late night before Luke's departure, Lorelai found it difficult to sleep. The room was too quiet and she missed feeling the soft thump of Luke's heartbeat. She woke to a dark sky and silent inn, and wondered how long she'd actually slept. Glancing at the clock, she did the mental arithmetic before picking up her phone and dialing.

"Hello?" He sounded surprised.

"Hey, it's me."

"Lorelai? What are you doing calling in the middle of the night?"

She could hear confusion and worry in his voice and spoke before he could continue, "I woke up and you weren't here."

"Oh. Even in the single word she could hear his tone shift from concerned to touched.

"Will you tell me about your flight?"

"My flight?" The request seemed to baffle him.

"Well, anything really. Just talk to me?" she pleaded. "It will help me fall asleep."

He agreed and proceeded to fill her in about the details of his overseas flight and arrival back in Stars Hollow. She asked a few questions and attempted tired banter, but mainly let his voice lull her into a restful peace. When she could no longer hold back a yawn, they reluctantly said their goodbyes and agreed to talk again at the typical time. Too tired to move, Lorelai clicked off her phone and held it against her chest as she drifted easily off to sleep.

* * *

August brought the busiest part of the tourist season and made Lorelai wonder briefly why The Durham Group was concerned about the occupancy rate at this inn. The rooms were booked solid and the dining room bustled noisily during breakfast. It relieved Lorelai to be busy at the inn, as it distracted her from missing Luke and worrying about Rory. Soon after he left, one of the waitresses announced that she needed to return home for the rest of the summer to care for a sick family member, and Lorelai and Elizabeth found themselves needing to hire someone in a hurry. Luckily, Anne's mother, Louise, was looking for a job that didn't require as many nighttime hours as her current position, and they were able to hire her for breakfast and lunch. 

Louise fell easily into the routine of the inn, quickly making friends with the entire staff. It seemed she was constantly in motion, fetching one thing or another for the guests without a word of complaint. She had an energy and a friendly smile that reminded Lorelai of Sookie, though without Sookie's tendency toward bubbliness. It gave Lorelai pangs of homesickness and she realized not only how much she missed Luke and Rory, but also the Dragonfly and all of Stars Hollow.

Watching the staff, though, Lorelai felt a sense of pride at their efficiency. Louise had only been a part of the staff for a little over a week, but she had found the perfect balance between friendliness and professionalism. Without being intrusive, she talked with guests about their plans, gave directions, and made suggestions when asked, often adding a bit of a story to her descriptions.

On this particular day, toward the end of breakfast, when much of the crowd had finished and set out for their sightseeing, Lorelai returned to the dining room from the kitchen and found two of the guests begging Louise for another story. She relented, and at their urging, sat for a moment. As she began telling some story about Stirling Castle she claimed to have learned in school, a few other guests leaned in, nudging their chairs closer. After a few minutes, Louise had the rapt attention of several guests, including one couple who had slid their whole table over to where she sat.

Lorelai paused, leaning against the doorway, enjoying the story herself, as well as a moment to breathe after a busy morning. She must have moved or made a sound, because Louise looked up at her and then glanced back to the guests before apologizing for sitting down on the job. At the anxious look on the guest's faces, Lorelai urged her to continue her story, since everyone seemed to be enjoying it so much. That prompted another couple to move their own table closer and give approving smiles to Lorelai.

Later, in preparation for lunch, Lorelai found Elizabeth moving the tables back, muttering about how they had gotten out of place. In a moment of inspiration, she suggested that they leave a few of them together, reasoning that there were plenty of tables and some of the people who'd met over breakfast might like a chance to talk more over another meal. As she suspected, over the next few days the larger table invited the guests to interact with each other more, especially those who were staying more than one night. It gave the meal a warm and friendly feel, and though Elizabeth had been skeptical at the suggestion, even she seemed to agree that everyone looked like they were enjoying themselves just a bit more.

Seeing how popular Louise was with the guests, Lorelai and Elizabeth discussed the best way to use her skills. In the end, they transitioned her into a position that combined the responsibilities of hostess and concierge, roles that Louise fell into naturally. The shift and the subsequent tiny changes in the atmosphere of the inn confirmed for Lorelai that focusing on the personality of the inn was the right approach. She encouraged the staff to explore the town more and suggested to Elizabeth that they make it a priority to hire locally when possible.

Throughout the remaining weeks, as Lorelai added more and more ideas into her report for the Durham Group, her thoughts went back to the beach on Skye and to Luke. Just as he had always done, he not only believed in her, but supported her unconditionally and it made her that much more eager to get back to Stars Hollow. Her habit of calling him before going to bed continued, though occasionally she found herself absorbed in work so late that rather than disturb Luke during dinner rush, she waited to call him the following day. He listened patiently to her ideas, shared glimpses of home, and, very occasionally, let it slip that he missed her.

She continued talking to Rory every few days and though their conversations remained stilted, Lorelai gradually shared more details about her work at the inn and Rory told her a little about her work at the daycare center. They followed a set of unspoken rules, Lorelai avoiding any mention of Logan or Yale and Rory managing to stay silent about her grandparents.

* * *

With less than two weeks of her consulting trip remaining, Lorelai spent more and more hours planning, working with Elizabeth, and writing her report in the tiny office. Early one morning, checking her e-mail before breakfast got underway, she saw with surprise that there was a note from Rory in her inbox. 

She had wondered occasionally why they didn't e-mail each other. In some ways it might have been easier, since conversational lulls over the phone were so painfully obvious. But there was something about e-mail that was both too intimate and too remote at the same time. Or maybe it was that e-mailing each other was something they had done when Rory was at Yale. In any case, an e-mail now surprised her and she hesitated before clicking on it.

_Dear Mom,_

_I know that I haven't told you much about my community service assignment, or about anything for that matter, but I really am enjoying it, probably more than I should be. I'm learning a lot and it's making me see things that I hadn't considered before. I'm starting to feel like I have options again._

_But that's not the real reason I'm writing this to you. As much as I'm enjoying it here, this is a really sad place sometimes. There are so many people here in terrible situations, things I can't imagine having to deal with. The kids need so much and their parents (well, really their moms) work so hard to give them everything they need, but it's so difficult. _

_Watching these kids with their moms makes me think of how hard it must have been for you, when you left home with me. A bunch of the moms here are teenagers, like you were, but they all seem so defeated. It makes me think how lucky I was to have had you. I don't know how you did it, but you always seemed hopeful. You never gave up and you always believed in me._

_I didn't really get it until now, how hard it must have been for you. All I have from my childhood are happy memories. I don't know how you did it, how you stayed so optimistic, but I have to thank you for that. I'm starting to understand now how much you gave up for me, how hard you worked so that I could have the life you should have had. I don't know exactly what where I'm going from here, but I'm going to make you proud. I promise you that._

_Thank you for everything._

_I love you,_

_Rory_

A few tears slipped down her face as Lorelai finished reading the e-mail and she numbly reached for her phone, knowing she had to call Rory immediately. It wasn't until the phone started ringing that she realized that she had no idea what to say or where to start.

Rory answered groggily, her voice hoarse and confused, "Hello."

"Rory. Oh god, I'm sorry. I woke you. I forgot about the time difference. God, I'm an idiot." Lorelai could hear her voice cracking through the tears.

"Mom?" Rory sounded a little more coherent, but still bewildered.

"I'm sorry. Should I call back later?"

"No, you don't have to. I can…I'm up. So…why _are_ you calling now?" Suddenly anxious, she asked, "You're okay, right?"

"I'm fine," Lorelai answered, trying to steady her voice and figure out what to say. As usual, her mouth responded before her brain could process what she was saying, "But I'm a little worried that your identity has been stolen."

"What?" Rory's voice betrayed her utter confusion.

"I just wanted to make sure that you haven't been the victim of email hacking. You know, those spammers can do almost anything with e-mail – make you think they're your bank, or-"

"Mom," she interrupted, with a trace of frustration, "it's the middle of the night. Please tell me what's going on."

"I got your e-mail," Lorelai said softly.

"Oh."

"Rory…" she started, eyes spilling over again as she tried to figure out where to start.

"Mom?" she asked, concerned.

"I just…that letter…I can't tell you how much it means to me. I just can't believe that you wrote it."

"I've been…doing a lot of thinking lately, about everything, and I realized how much I've let you down."

The sadness and resignation in Rory's words prompted Lorelai's immediate response, "You've never let me down."

"Yes," Rory said evenly, "I have, and after all you've done for me."

"Rory, everybody makes mistakes. You've met me, right?"

Lorelai thought she heard a chuckle then before Rory answered, "I don't know how things got so out of control, when life got to be so hard, when I started sucking at everything."

"Hey, don't do that. Don't doubt yourself. What happened to that kid who stood up to Headmaster Charleston, the one who tamed Paris?"

"That was high school. Yale is different. Real life is different," Rory said softly, sounding defeated.

"Bull."

"Mom!" she protested.

"You let some asshole convince yourself that you weren't good enough for something that you're already good at, something you've been doing for years," Lorelai argued, then mumbled, "Stupid Huntzbergers."

"Mom." Rory spoke with a warning tone.

"No Rory," she insisted, "you never used to wonder if you were good enough, but ever since you met Logan…" Having said the name, Lorelai knew she'd crossed a line, knew she'd violated their unspoken rules.

"Mom," she pleaded, "I don't want to talk about-"

"Gah! I didn't call to fight with you. How did we get here?" This was what she feared every time she spoke to Rory lately, that they would say things they'd regret and make the rift wider. She couldn't do that anymore. Not after reading that note.

"Uh.." Rory started.

"Don't answer that."

"Okay…but…why _did_ you call?" she asked, the confusion back.

"Because it's not everyday that you get a letter from your kid thanking you for being a mom. Not every kid would write that." She was unable to keep her voice from shaking a bit.

She could hear Rory take a breath before saying softly, "You're not just any mom."

Lorelai could feel her eyes filling and a few tears traced paths down her cheeks. "Rory, this is like the best thing that anyone has ever given me, has ever said, but you have to know, I had help. I couldn't have done it without Sookie, Mia, Luke…well, the whole town. I just got lucky that when I decided to leave my parent's house that I ended up in Stars Hollow."

"There's more to it than that," Rory insisted. "You _never_ gave up. You knew what you wanted and didn't stop until you got it. You're strong. I've always wanted to be as strong as you."

"You are."

"No, I'm not. I'd like to be." Rory's voice was steady and quiet, but as she went on Lorelai could hear it breaking. "I'm trying. I just needed to let you know that I get it, why you won't let me give up, how much you've given up and done for me. I don't want to let you down. I want you to be proud of me, but I still don't know how I'm going to do that. I need some time to figure it out."

Lorelai's heart hurt hearing the sadness in Rory's words. "I've always been proud of you," she choked out. "I'm sorry you didn't know that."

"After what happened…this summer, I'm not so sure I deserve that, but thank you." She sounded unsure, and hesitated before saying, "I'm glad that you called."

"Me too, but I'm sorry that I woke you," Lorelai said apologetically. "I should let you get back to sleep. I'll call you in a few days."

After exchanging goodbyes and hanging up, Lorelai felt both relieved and anxious. Though the wall between she and Rory finally seemed to be cracking, there was still so much left to resolve. She ached to be back in the same room with her daughter, where she could wrap her arms around her and convince her that things would get better.

Her thoughts made her restless and homesick, and she found herself wanting to hear Luke's reassuring voice. Remembering that she'd woken Rory, Lorelai made herself wait a couple of hours before calling him. With all the thoughts running through her head, she struggled to perform even the simplest functions, and she finally settled on inventory as the most mindless of the tasks on her to-do list. A couple of hours later, she dialed, calling Luke's upstairs number instead of the more familiar diner number.

"Hello?" he answered, seemingly perplexed by the call.

"Hey Luke, it's me,"

"Lorelai? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I got a note…an email from Rory." She could feel her voice cracking and took a breath to try to regain her composure.

"What! Is she okay?" His concern was so sweet she almost laughed.

"She's okay. We're both fine."

"Then what's going on? It's early-"

She cut him off, "I'm sorry to call so early. It's just…I wanted to talk to you."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Now his concern was turning to frustration and she knew she needed to explain.

"I'm fine. Really. I just got this letter from Rory. And Luke, I've never…Luke, she thanked me."

"For what?" he sounded confused.

"She thanked me for being her mom and taking care of her. She said she's met a lot of teen mothers at her job. She said I was strong, but she doesn't get it. I had help. I had Mia and Sookie and the whole town and for a long time, you. She didn't get that I couldn't have done it without everyone else. I tried to explain how lucky I was, but she didn't get it." The words flowed out, Lorelai knowing in her head what she wanted to say, but the words coming out strangely disorganized. She needed to explain to Luke, to thank him, to help him understand his role in this, but he responded too quickly, before she could get her thoughts straightened out.

"You are strong. You've always been strong," he insisted. "If it hadn't been Stars Hollow, it would have happened somewhere else. You can do anything you set your mind to, just like this job."

The unconditional support was overwhelming and so typically Luke that he made her point without realizing it. "But that's just what I mean. Even this job. You're the one who pushed me to do it. I didn't think I could, but you pushed me. And even when I got mad at you and wanted to give up you helped me figure out how to do it. And now, I'm doing it. I'm making a difference."

"Of course you are. I never doubted you, you know."

She marveled at the matter-of-fact tone in his voice, at the strength of his belief in her. "I know that, and if you hadn't pushed me. I might not have ever known…" her voice wavered as it trailed off.

"Known what?" he asked when she didn't continue.

"That I can do it," she said hesitantly, "and that I like it."

A long moment passed before he responded, slowly and deliberately, "Then I'm glad you decided to try it." He paused before continuing. "Do you think…are you going to do more…consulting? Do they want you to do more? Do you want…?"

She could hear the hesitation and uncertainty in his voice, but could barely process anything beyond the questions themselves. There were a lot of questions – questions that she couldn't answer yet. "I don't know, there's a lot to think about. I mean, Mike said they might have some other opportunities available. He tried to talk me into staying longer here, but I've been gone so long already…"

The silence hung there for a moment while she waited for him to say something. When he did, he spoke steadily and she couldn't interpret his tone. "You could stay if you wanted to, or if there's another opportunity to go somewhere else."

"But I don't want to," Lorelai protested, riddled with confusion about how this conversation had taken this turn. "I want to come home. I miss you. Don't you miss me?"

His voice softened. "Of course I do, but if you have the opportunity, you shouldn't pass it up."

For the first time since Luke had left Scotland, Lorelai could feel the tennis match again. The games in her head had subsided soon after Luke left, optimism pulling far enough ahead to stop the worrying, but now his questions and suggestions unsettled her and made her wonder, "Luke, I had the opportunity. Now I want to come home and plan our wedding, except that it worries me that it sounds like you don't want to do the same. What's going on? Don't you want to marry me?"

"Of course I do. I just don't want marrying me to keep you from doing what you want to do with your life. If you want to travel, consult, I don't want you feeling like you can't because of me." He spoke with sincerity and feeling.

"Are you saying that if we're together, you don't want me to travel?" Lorelai pushed him, desperately confused. "I don't get this. You're the one who pushed me to do this. Now you're saying I have to choose?"

"Of course not. I just don't want to hold you back."

She finally lost her patience, frustrated at his lack of understanding. "You're not. You've never held me back. That's the point, don't you get it?"

"Get what?"

"You're the one who helped me get through this, who helped me see what I had to offer. You helped push me to figure out how to help here. I don't think I could have done it without you."

"Of course you could. You can do anything." The way that he wrote off his importance to her disturbed Lorelai, and made her try even harder to convince him.

"But that's exactly what I mean. You always believe in me, no matter what. So yes, you've helped me realize that I can do this, but you also helped me see why I love Stars Hollow and the Dragonfly so much. The thing is Luke, I don't want to do any of it without you."

"But what about the other opportunities?" he pressed, making her wonder again why it always came back this.

"What about them? I'll figure it out. We'll figure it out, but right now, I really want to come home and see you."

"Okay," he said, sounding a little skeptical, but then lowering his voice and saying softly, "I do want to see you too."

"Well, good, 'cause I was starting to wonder," Lorelai said, her voice bright, trying to hide the tension she felt. She continued talking, but steered the conversation away from consulting and all the questions that she didn't yet know how to answer. They spoke a while longer, and she kept the conversation intentionally light. By the time they had said their goodbyes, their easy banter had returned, though twinges of uncertainty still stung in the back of Lorelai's mind. It frustrated her to try to interpret thoughts and feelings through satellite signals and she longed to be home where she could look Luke in the eye and find out what was really going on in his head.

_To be continued_


	8. Arrival

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, yadda, yadda, yadda.

**Author's Note:** I really don't know how to put into words how grateful I am for my totally amazing betas, **JeSouhaite** and **Cinefille**. Their input has been invaluable and this story is so much better for it. I really appreciate them both for sticking through the whole story with me. I also want to send out many thanks to the fanfic thread at TWoP and to everyone who has reviewed for all of the seriously wonderful words and encouragement.

* * *

Luke hadn't been able to keep from smiling all day, which had prompted curious comments from the likes of Babette and Miss Patty. "Lorelai's coming home tonight, right? I'd like to be a fly on the wall for that reunion." Horrified, he'd returned to the kitchen and had done his best to stay there most of the day. A little before six, he turned the diner over to Lane and Caesar, ignoring his wink and her gushing excitement. After a brief stop at Lorelai's house to drop off a few things and pick up her jeep, he headed out towards Hartford. 

He had to admit that he'd been counting down the hours to her return, though he didn't like to be reminded just how eager he was for her to be back in Stars Hollow. As much as he craved her return, a part of him that remained unsure. The same part of him that had encouraged her to try the consulting job, the part of him that needed to know that knowing all her options, she would choose him, was nervous about where they stood. About where the consulting stood. He knew that she wanted to be with him; he'd never really questioned that. But he also knew that she'd been proud of the job she'd been able to do at the Stirling Inn, that in spite of her lack of confidence at the beginning, she'd loved having her expertise sought out. And he couldn't imagine her not wanting that experience again.

Ultimately, he could live with her having such a job. They'd survived this summer, even getting an amazing trip out of the deal, but it wasn't what he'd pictured for them. Imagining Lorelai flitting around the world from inn to inn and back to Stars Hollow in between brought back too many memories of the other woman who had come and gone from his life, and those memories made him worry about such a future for he and Lorelai.

Not to mention the kids. The thought sounded ironic in his head, the unmentioned kids being in fact, unmentioned. The idea of a family rolled around in his head like the last missing piece in a huge puzzle, and he wanted to kick himself for avoiding the topic. At the same time, the thought that she might not share his vision of their future terrified him. Could he be happy if he altered his vision to suit her? It was a question he was afraid to answer and so, as he neared Hartford, he pushed it out of his mind, focusing instead on remembering the way to the Gilmore house, hoping that he'd be able to discreetly pick up Rory without running into the elder Gilmores.

After he'd returned from Scotland, he and Rory had resumed their dinners, cautious at first, both carefully dancing around the most sensitive topics. For the first few dinners, Rory still sat at the counter, conversation happening in fits and starts between customers. After a week or so, however, Lane returned, and Luke was struck by the thought that Rory wouldn't need him anymore, that she'd prefer to spend her visits to Stars Hollow catching up with Lane. In fact the first time Rory saw Lane she dragged her to a table, and after a tentative reunion they spent almost an hour catching up. Luke did his best to fade into the background and try not to be disappointed until Lane came back to the kitchen and informed him that she could take care of things for a while if he wanted to sit down with Rory. From that point on a new pattern developed. Rory and Lane spent some time catching up, while Luke finished up the dinner rush and made Rory's meal. Then he sat down with Rory and they ate together. It forced continuous conversation and Rory began sharing more details of her work at the daycare center while Luke filled her in about what was happening in Stars Hollow and with Lorelai.

The ice had thinned considerably between Lorelai and Rory after Rory's e-mail, but Luke knew that they had a long way to go before their relationship was back to where it had been before. Though they talked regularly, there were still issues that were hard to resolve over the telephone. The way that they talked cautiously to him about each other told him that there was a lot left unsaid, including any plans that Rory might have for her future.

Luke gave himself silent congratulations for his small role in pushing them to take baby steps toward reconciliation. More than that, he realized how much it meant that both of them had let him push. Knowing that he had, in some small way, helped them find their way back to each other gave him a sense of family that he hadn't felt in a long time. It was the one thing that made him think maybe he could imagine a different future. That maybe he could be satisfied to be husband to Lorelai and stepfather to Rory. Maybe.

It hadn't been easy to convince Rory to come to the airport with him, but he'd approached it matter-of-factly, knowing that it was what both of them would want, whether they would admit it or not. He surprised himself with his confidence, marveling once again at how much he already felt a part of the family.

At their most recent dinner on Wednesday, Luke had casually said to Rory, "So, your mom comes home on Saturday."

"Yeah. I guess we'll have to skip our dinner," she answered, sounding just a bit disappointed.

He took a breath and said, more confidently than he felt, "You should come to the airport. I can pick you up on the way there."

She looked at him a moment before responding, "I don't know…I don't want to intrude. You and Mom should…have a chance. You haven't seen each other in a while."

"Neither have you," he pointed out.

After a brief glance at him, she picked up a French fry and took an agonizingly long time dipping it in ketchup, saying softly as she watched it drip off, "I don't think that she'll want to see me." He sensed that there was more to it than that, that Lorelai's return would force not only a confrontation of the issues between them, but also necessitate Rory dealing with the ambiguity of her own plans. Not knowing how to help her deal with those concerns, he addressed the one she had voiced out loud.

"She will." The surety in his voice seemed to have gotten her attention and she lifted her head, a hopeful but wounded look on her face.

"Really?"

"Really."

She took a breath then, looking down at the table briefly before she looked up again and said, "Okay. What time is the flight?"

Luke gave her a relieved smile. "The flight gets in around eight. I'll pick you up at seven."

* * *

Luke scanned the passengers as they exited through the security doors. He saw Lorelai before she saw him, her own eyes searching the crowd eagerly. He caught her eye and smiled, watching her smile broaden in return, spreading across her face until her eyes sparkled back at him. She held his gaze with an intensity that made him forget they weren't alone. When she reached him she said softly, "Hey," before looping her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a soft kiss. He broke the kiss reluctantly, giving a small nod to his left. She followed his look curiously and her eyes widened when she saw Rory standing silently off to the side, nervously taking in the scene. 

Lorelai glanced back and forth between Rory and Luke before walking over to Rory and pulling her into a tentative hug, saying, "You didn't tell me you were coming." Then she turned toward Luke, her arm still around Rory's shoulder, and added, "and you didn't tell me, either."

"We wanted to surprise you," he responded simply, knowing the reason was far more complex. At his words, Rory's face took on that uncertain look he'd seen so much of this summer, in her reluctant agreement to come to the airport and in the slight look of apprehension whenever they'd talked about her mother. He didn't know what was going on in her head, but any excitement she felt about seeing her mother seemed to be accompanied by something resembling dread. For Lorelai's part, he knew she'd worried all summer about how much Rory had changed and whether or not her daughter still needed her.

Lorelai tugged Rory close again and whispered, "I'm so glad you're here." Over Rory's shoulder, she shot Luke a grateful look and mouthed, "thank you." When Lorelai pulled back again, he could see Rory's hesitance fading and her smile widening.

They walked together toward the baggage claim, Lorelai's arm still looped around Rory's shoulder, answering questions about her flight and departure from the inn. He held back, letting them have their moment, until Lorelai turned toward him and reached for his hand.

At the claim area, they sat, waiting for the bags to appear. Though he allowed Lorelai to pull him down next to them, he let the two of them chat. They started with Rory filling Lorelai in on the highlights of Lane's tour with the band. Listening to them, he could hear hints of their old banter, the easiness that had been missing for so long.

He let them continue to talk, watching for the luggage to arrive and retrieving Lorelai's bags when the carousel started up. Lorelai shot him a grateful look when he returned to where they were seated. "Thanks. I'm impressed that you knew which bags were mine."

"I do believe that these were the only bags with Hello Kitty luggage tags," he answered wryly. "Should we head back to the car?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Lorelai said reluctantly, looking back toward Rory hopefully. "Hey hon, would you like to stop and get some coffee on the way, or do you have to get back…?" Her voice trailed off as though she didn't want to think about Rory's living situation.

Rory gave a small shake of her head. "I don't have to. I have to work in the morning, that's it. Coffee would be good."

During the walk to the car and the short drive to a nearby Starbucks, Lorelai filled them in on her last few days and the small party the staff had thrown her before she left Stirling. When Lorelai described her effort in the last few days to eat as many Scottish foods as possible, Rory turned to him, "Luke, is she kidding? Do they really eat that?"

He responded with a chuckle, "As unlikely as it seems, your mother is not exaggerating."

"Hey!" Lorelai said indignantly, feigning a pout at Luke's teasing smile.

When they entered the coffee shop, Luke headed for the counter while Lorelai and Rory settled into a booth. After getting the two coffees and tea for himself, he headed toward the table. Lorelai and Rory had apparently exhausted the light conversation, and he watched Rory take a deep breath, as if steeling herself, before saying, "My community service is almost over and the daycare center offered…they offered me a job." She stopped and looked at Lorelai, waiting for a reaction. Neither seemed to notice him so he remained standing, not wanting to interrupt.

"What kind of job?" Lorelai asked, her voice even.

"They want me to teach," Rory offered quietly, "in the after school program."

"Teach? Don't you need a license or something?"

"I'd be an assistant teacher. I'm pretty much qualified for that now, and the position is grant funded, so it's outside of their regular teaching staff anyway."

"Grant funded?"

Rory's voice grew firmer as she explained the details. "They're developing a literacy program and they want me to help implement it." She looked up, seeking approval, then spotted Luke and gave him an anxious look.

He shifted awkwardly as he slid the cups onto the table. "Uh…here. I think I've got them the way that you like them." Before he had a chance to wonder if he should let them talk on their own, Lorelai gestured to the place next to her. As he sat, she took a long sip of her coffee, then set it down, looking down into the cup for a few seconds before lifting her head to Rory.

"Work. A job. So…no Yale?" Lorelai clarified, unable to hide her disappointment.

A flash of hurt ran across Rory's face and she took a sip of her coffee, the moment spinning out long enough that Lorelai started to apologize, before Rory cut her off, "No Yale…yet."

"But this position, can't you do it part-time, and still go back to school?"

Rory shrugged, looking defeated, and paused again before answering, "I want to figure out what I want to do before I go back."

"That's what college is for – to figure it out." Lorelai argued. "You don't need to know everything now."

"But," Rory started haltingly, biting her bottom lip, "everything that's happened. It's given me some new ideas to consider – teaching, maybe even writing. I want to think a little more before I go back, so that I know what I'm there for."

Lorelai spoke bitterly, her eyes hard. "You did know that. You let yourself be talked out of it."

"Then maybe it wasn't the thing for me."

Lorelai gave a frustrated plea. "Rory."

"No, I mean what if there's something I hadn't considered? What if there's something I'd love more? Why is journalism so important to you?" Rory's voice had grown stronger and she lifted her eyes to meet her mother's, her question almost a challenge.

The tone softened Lorelai's response. "It's not important to me, but up until a few months ago it was really important to you. I just want to make sure you're not giving it up too easily."

"I'm not. I haven't…given it up…for sure. I'm just exploring some other options."

Lorelai sighed, "I just want what's going to make you happy."

"And I'm just trying to find out what that is," Rory insisted.

Lorelai sighed and nodded her acceptance, taking another long sip of her coffee. In the lull that followed, Luke reached to rest his hand on Lorelai's knee and gave Rory a supportive smile. Lorelai glanced at him thoughtfully and dropped a hand to rest on his, curling her fingers around his knuckles. Turning to Rory, she took a deep breath and said softly, "Tell me more about the job."

Rory tentatively described the job the center had proposed, her confidence returning as she answered Lorelai's questions about the specific responsibilities she would have. She looked to both Luke and her mother as she answered, prompting Luke to ask his own questions about what kinds of activities she was planning. By the time they had finished their coffee, both women were visibly more relaxed and some of the banter had returned to their conversation.

After a few more minutes, they headed back to the jeep and piled in. Before Luke could start the car, Lorelai turned in the passenger seat, looking at Rory, and offered hesitantly, "You could…if you want…you could come back…home."

It struck Luke how unusual it was to hear Lorelai so unsure. Then he heard Rory's soft intake of breath and could sense that she wasn't coming home and knew how disappointed Lorelai was about to be. He resisted the urge to rest his hand reassuringly on Lorelai's knee.

Rory started, "Well…umm…that would be nice…but the day care center is in Hartford. It would be a long drive every day, and I'm not sure what my hours will be." Her voice steadied and she continued more confidently, a soft smile on her lips as she glanced between them, "Besides, you and Luke haven't seen each other all summer. You should have some time together, right?" Her eyes settled on Luke as she finished.

Lorelai followed Rory's look, a hurt look on her face as she looked at Luke. "Have you two talked about this?"

Rory cut in, to Luke's relief. "No, Mom. This is my idea. Luke had nothing to do with it. I just thought you'd like some time with just the two of you, without me hanging around all the time."

Lorelai looked like she wanted to protest, like she wanted to reach into the back seat and throw her arms around Rory and beg her to come home, but she just shrugged and said softly, "I guess," before turning back around in her seat and giving a discouraged sigh.

The car remained uncomfortably quiet until they had gotten back on the highway. Lorelai spoke first, her voice bitter, "I suppose your grandparents talked you into this."

That now-familiar nervous look returned to Rory's eyes, "Actually, I haven't talked to them about it. I mean, they've said I can stay, but I didn't tell them about the job yet. I was thinking I should offer to pay them rent."

Lorelai snorted, "Seriously? Rent? You know there's no chance in hell they're taking any money from you?"

Rory gave a resigned shrug. "I have to offer."

"That might almost be worth seeing," Lorelai said wryly and even Luke had to hold back a smile at the image.

The touch of humor relieved some of the tension, and though Luke could see the disappointment and sadness in Lorelai's expression, she and Rory continued to make friendly but strained conversation for the rest of the ride.

When they arrived at the Gilmore house, Luke pulled up to the poolhouse. Lorelai got out to let Rory out of the car and they stood awkwardly staring at each other. Luke turned off the engine and the sputter of the engine stopping made Rory look up, finally meeting Lorelai's eyes. Clearly, they were at a loss as to how to proceed, unclear on the status of their relationship.

"So," Rory started, "I was thinking of going to the zucchini festival with Lane next Saturday."

Her statement hung there for a moment as Lorelai processed it. "Yeah. Luke told me about that one. I think I've almost convinced him to go with me." She added the last with a glance and smile over her shoulder as Luke walked around the front of the car.

"Lane's band is going to play in between the elementary chorus and the high school kazoo band."

"Well, that's not to be missed. That, and the zucchini bake-off. Maybe it's not too late to sign up to be judges," Lorelai added with a small smile.

Luke couldn't help but interject skeptically, "You two realize that zucchini is a vegetable, right?"

"Yeah," Lorelai answered, "but it turns into the most amazing muffins and cakes and breads."

"And if you close your eyes you don't even notice the tiny bits of green," added Rory with a grin.

Luke rolled his eyes and then looked at Rory. "I'm not sure you're going to need it, but come by the diner for dinner afterwards. I'm sure I'll be making your mother something absurdly unhealthy."

Lorelai gave him a long look, trying to interpret the meaning behind his invitation. Rory nodded and answered slowly, "That sounds good."

"If you're going to stay for dinner anyway, why don't you stay in Stars Hollow Saturday night?" Lorelai asked.

"At…home?" Rory confirmed.

Lorelai gave a small nod. "We could get a movie."

"That would be nice."

"You know," Lorelai said, her voice taking on that unsure tone again, "if you have to be in Hartford during the week, you could still come home on the weekends – you know, if you don't have other plans." It pained Luke to hear Lorelai qualifying her invitation, as if she truly questioned whether Rory wanted to come home.

Rory met Lorelai's eyes and responded, "I'd definitely like that."

The confidence in Rory's words brightened Lorelai's expression considerably, and she reached to give her daughter a hug. "Good. I'll see you next Saturday then." Her expression relaxed and she closed her eyes as she pulled Rory in more tightly.

"Yep, next Saturday," said Rory.

"And Wednesday for dinner," added Luke.

Rory's lips turned up in a surprised smile and she wrapped her arms around his waist saying, "I'll be there." Over Rory's shoulder, Lorelai gave him an approving look.

After Lorelai and Rory shared one more hug, Luke and Lorelai walked back toward the jeep and he held out the keys. "Do you want to drive?"

"I really, really don't," she answered wearily. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all."

Luke spent a few minutes watching Lorelai stare silently out the window before he reached over and brushed her knee with his fingers. "Hey, you okay?"

"I will be," she said softly. "I mean, things are better, really. I know that, but I just don't understand why she doesn't want to come home. God. What am I doing wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know that I haven't been turning cartwheels about her plans - I really don't understand why the hell she won't go back to Yale. But how could she want to stay with my parents? Why doesn't she want to live at home? Am I that – Oh my god! I'm turning into my mother!"

"What?" he asked, baffled by the sudden turn in the conversation.

"I'm all disapproving, and making her feel like a huge disappointment. No wonder she doesn't want to be at home."

"First of all, you are nothing like your mother."

"But-"

"No, you are nothing like your mother. Rory hurt you and she knows it. She wants to come back, but she wants to make it up to you."

"What? Why? She doesn't have to."

"I know that, and more importantly, she knows that. But she still wants to. And that's what makes you different from your mother."

She took a few breaths and then turned and gave him a weak smile, "Thank you."

"For what?" he asked, truly curious.

"For helping me – with Rory, with everything."

"Anytime." To reinforce his words, her reached for her hand and ran his thumb across her palm.

Lorelai fell silent again, though this time it was a companionable silence. She rested her head against the back of the seat and sighed, shoulders relaxing and eyes closing as she did so.

When they reached her house, Luke walked around to open Lorelai's door and surprisingly, she let him. As she stepped out of the car, he pulled her to him, really holding her for the first time since she'd arrived, his arms wrapped around her slim body and his fingers brushing her ribs through her thin cotton shirt. "Welcome home," he whispered.

Her breath tickled his throat as her arms tightened around his neck. "God, it's good to be home." They stayed like that for a long moment, until Lorelai pulled back, saying wryly, "You better take me inside soon, before Babette notices we're here and tries to bring us lemonade or something."

Luke nodded quickly and after letting her go reluctantly, lifted her suitcases out of the back of the jeep and carried them toward the house.

Lorelai reached for her keys, since Luke's hand were full, and let herself into the house, flipping switches and running on about good house smells before Luke's eyes had even adjusted to the brightness.

"Luke? Are those flowers? Did you get me flowers?" she said with wonder as she walked toward the coffee table. "And candles?"

He ducked his head sheepishly as he took in the table again. Earlier, he'd stood in the flower shop, unimpressed with the generic bouquets, debating what to do and wondering what had possessed him to enter the store. Finally he'd spotted the graceful stems of deep purple and brilliant yellow irises, which managed to look much more elegant in the narrow vase he'd found than a larger bouquet would have. To either side of the vase were two candles, which he lit, before turning to take Lorelai's purse and gesturing to the couch. "Why don't you sit? I'll be back in a few minutes."

She looked surprised and amused at his effort as she settled into the cushions. He turned and walked into the kitchen, pulling out the coffee and putting on a pot of water for tea. Just as the coffee began to drip he heard footsteps behind him. He turned as Lorelai walked toward him and slid her arms around his waist. "I was going to bring you-"

"I know, and it's sweet, but I haven't seen you for almost a month. Do you think I'm going to sit out there by myself while my hot fiancé watches the coffee brew?"

"I'm not hot."

"Oh the fact that you don't think so makes it even more true," she answered, her tone teasing, but with a look of adoration on her face.

He could feel himself flush before pulling away gently to pour the coffee and make his tea. "Well, as long as you're here…" he said, handing Lorelai the mugs and nodding toward the living room. He followed her into the living room a couple of minutes later carrying two plates with apple pie and ice cream.

She turned toward him and her eyes lit up when she saw what he was holding. "Luke. Thank you. This is perfect."

He shrugged. I just thought you'd be hungry after a whole day of airplane food."

"You're right about that," she said, eagerly taking a bite of her pie. She slowly pulled the fork out of her mouth, raising one of her eyebrows at him. "It looks like you've gotten comfortable here. So are you gonna stay?"

He knew she wasn't just talking about that night. She was talking about something much more permanent. And it felt comfortable. In her absence, he'd checked on her house, taken in the mail, and started her jeep. It felt right to have that connection with her, but at the same time the place had felt soulless without her around. Now that she had returned, it felt like a home again.

But he still had one hesitation. "Are you sure you want me to? If Rory's going to stay-"

"Oh Luke, it is so beyond time to get over that," Lorelai said, smiling through her exasperation. "Were you planning to keep your apartment around for the rest of our lives and run over there every time Rory comes home? You know, she does know that we have sex. And she knows that we have it here, in the house. And, I know you don't want to hear this, because she will always be twelve years old to you, but Rory has sex too."

"Lorelai," he groaned, "I don't want to know that!"

"I'm just saying, it's time to adjust your image, especially if it means that I get to have you in my bed every night." He looked at her, grinning back at him and really, how could you complain about that?

His resolve softening, he asked teasingly, "Do you think you'll be able to spare some closet space?"

She flashed him a look of mock horror before relenting. "Well, I suppose I could make some room for you, but that might just be the pie talking." She smiled softly. "Can I just say that I love that you brought me pie. This is perfect. You. Here. With pie. And flowers. And candles. How did you get to be so wonderful?"

He looked down at the praise, feeling his face flushing. "It's just pie."

"Maybe. But it's perfect. What was I thinking leaving you for so long? I don't ever want to leave again."

"Don't say that."

"What?"

"Don't rule it out," he said, his voice gentle. "There might be another opportunity."

"I'm not sure about that. Mike Armstrong offered me another consulting trip in October, but I told him it was too soon."

Inwardly he smiled, but then added reassuringly, "There'll be others."

"Maybe, but I don't want to go anywhere anytime soon. I think they're looking for someone who can consult on a regular basis, but I'm not interested in that. I'm not sure I'd want to do this more than once a year, so I don't know if they're still going to want me to work for them."

"They will unless they're idiots," Luke muttered.

"What?"

"Of course they're going to want you."

She flushed at the praise, "I don't know."

He took a breath, "Do you want to? It seems like a good opportunity for you."

She held his gaze, and hesitated before speaking again. "I did enjoy it, once I figured out what I was doing. Once _you_ helped me figure it out."

"I didn't do anything."

"You did," she said with certainty. "You did what you always do. You backed me up, encouraged me." Luke felt himself twitch and Lorelai noticed, adding, "even when I got angry. But Luke, you also reminded me why this is my home. Why the Dragonfly is my inn. Besides," she said thoughtfully, setting down her plate before continuing, "we're getting married." Something in her voice pulled his eyes to hers and he gave a tentative nod, unclear where she was going with this. "And I know that we haven't talked about this. Maybe I've been avoiding it. But you said…and it made me think. I mean, if we end up having kids, well then I wouldn't be able to go away for weeks at a time anyway."

"Kids?" he breathed softly.

"Yeah. I mean, if you want. I thought you might because of what you said a while back, but then again, we haven't talked about it so maybe I'm misunderstanding…"

Her voice trailed off and he realized that she was waiting for him to speak, a whisper of doubt appearing in the furrow of her brow. "You're not. Misunderstanding. I want kids – or _a_ kid – with you."

"Good," she answered, with what looked like relief spreading across her face.

He still hadn't completely processed the revelation, the answer to the last remaining question. "You really want us, kids, a family?" He could hear the disbelief in his voice.

"Yes, I do Luke. All of it." Her face scrunched up in confusion. "Did I do anything to make you think that I didn't?"

The realization came all in a rush, hitting him like a great cosmic dopeslap. "No…No, you didn't. I just…"

"What?"

"I needed to know that you were sure, that being with me wasn't going to keep you from something you really wanted to do." He spoke softly, glancing away from the incredulous look on her face, his words sounding idiotic as he said them.

She responded with a stream of questions, her tone a mixture of surprise and understanding. "So all of this is because you wanted me to be sure? Scotland. The consulting. You just wanted to know that I was sure?" Her tone shifted slightly toward hurt. "Didn't you know that I wouldn't leave you?"

He slipped his hand beneath hers, where it lay resting on her knee, and ran his thumb across her knuckles reassuringly. "I didn't think you would leave – I never thought that. I just didn't want you to give up your dream job to stay here and then regret it someday."

She let out a long sigh and her voice took on the tone of patient explanation you'd use with a young child - or a dense fiancé. "Luke, I liked consulting, loved it even, but it's not my dream job. The Dragonfly is."

"Yeah?" he looked up, finally meeting her eyes sheepishly.

"Yeah," she insisted, her voice soft and serious. After a moment, her eyes took on an impish glint. "So all this about me…How about you? How do I know that you're sure?"

"What? I said I'd marry you."

Lorelai laughed, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out why.

"What?"

"Do you even hear what you're saying? I asked you to marry me, but that wasn't enough to convince you. Now what about you? I propose, you say yes, but then ship me off to Scotland and spend the summer trying to talk me into more consulting, more travel. So yeah? How do I know you want to marry me?" Her voice was light, but he could hear the brittle uncertainty behind the words, uncertainty that went beyond needing simple confirmation, uncertainty that spoke of real doubt.

"Lorelai, I bought you a house," he argued, trying to convince himself as much as her.

"And then backed out of the deal," she pointed out teasingly.

"But, I had a ring," he tried one more time in vain, his words falling flat.

When she'd asked him a couple of weeks ago if he really wanted to get married, he'd been surprised, but had interpreted it as a momentary flash of worry. It was clear now how deeply the doubt had run and the thought that he had made her question him hit him hard in the gut.

"So you wanted me to believe you that you were sure, just because you said so?" She struggled to keep up the banter, to hide the extent of her hurt.

"Lorelai," he started, reaching up to brush her cheek with his free hand, "I've been sure for a long time."

He could see her lower lip quiver and he started to apologize, to try to say something to make up for his thickheadedness, but she stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, her voice straining to stay light. "I do believe you, by the way, which is a good thing, because your arguments were starting to sound a little feeble."

"Well…uh…good, but-" he started, before she cut him off again.

"Let this be a lesson to you, Mr. Danes."

"What?"

"When I ask someone to marry me, I mean it." He knew that he deserved more of a rebuke, that he owed her more of an apology, but letting him apologize would reveal how much he had hurt her and Lorelai didn't expose her pain easily.

He reached his hand up to where hers lay on his shoulder and then trailed his fingers up her arm before resting both of his arms on her shoulders and clasping his fingers behind her neck. Nervousness swam in her eyes and begged him to drop it, to let her forgive him. And he almost did, because that was the way they dealt with things, the way they danced around issues.

"Lorelai. I'm-" he started.

"No, Luke. Don't. It's okay." She spoke quickly, her voice tense as she started to pull away from him

"No," he said steadily, his hands still holding her firmly, "it's not."

"Luke, please," she begged.

His shoulders slumped and he let out a long sigh. He slid his fingers down her arms and held her hands, squeezing them gently as he spoke. "Lorelai, I made you spend the summer wondering if I really wanted to marry you. I can't just ignore that." She looked away from him and he ducked his head to meet her eyes before continuing softly, "I just can't believe that you doubted me."

"And I can't believe that you really thought I would want to leave you here for months at a time. Is that really what you thought would make me happy?" Though the hurt in her voice was clear, he also heard guilt and disappointment and saw the defeated look on her face. "Don't we know each other at all?"

He held her steady gaze, working his jaw, trying to find the words to make sense of all the uncertainty. When he spoke, it was soft, but deliberate. "I guess when you have what you never thought you'd get, what you'd almost managed to convince yourself you didn't want…it's hard to believe it's actually happening."

Lorelai's eyes widened at the emotion in his words and he could see that she was touched. She gave a small nod of understanding as she struggled to maintain her composure. Luke pulled her into his chest, one hand buried in her hair while the other stroked her back. After a few long moments, he felt her take several deep breaths and pull away to look him in the eye. Her small smile and teasing tone fought back against the seriousness of their conversation. "So will you really marry me now?"

"Lorelai, we're already engaged," he said lightly, shaking his head in mock frustration.

Her smile widened as she responded, "I know we are, and I've been wearing this beautiful ring, but can we start treating it as if it's actually going to happen?"

_Fin_


End file.
